If a Mom Sang “Let It Go”

Thanks to mom Margo Maguire for sending this to me.

Knights and Princesses

Recently Princess Galen and I were playing at McDonald’s. This is often necessary after dinner on days when she’s taken a nap at preschool. The restaurant is about a 3-block walk from my house, and if I can encourage her …

Let It Go!

If you haven’t seen the movie “Frozen,” my advice is to get your weekend matinee tickets right now! My girls and I saw it multiple times over the holidays and have really taken a liking to the soundtrack. Lyrics have even been texted back and forth between us at opportune moments.

“Do You Wanna Build a Snowman” tugs at my heart every time—yes, I’m a sappy mom, but it’s hard not to feel for the young girl who simply longs for a connection with her once beloved sister. I’ll say no more about the song to avoid giving away too much of the plot. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go see the movie. 🙂

But there’s another song whose lyrics and underlying message have struck a note inside me. I’m talking about “Let It Go.”

In this song a character sings about being true to who she is. About no longer being the person she’s expected to be. About letting a painful past slip away so she can reach for a future where she feels free to embrace her true essence. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk 

As moms we want our kids to be the best they can be. To achieve whatever it is that will make them happy. We encourage them to go for their dreams.

Yet oftentimes, as we champion our kids, we forget to champion ourselves. As we care for them, we neglect ourselves. Honestly, that’s not good for our kids or for us. One of the best pieces of parenting advice given to me was that I needed to make the time to work on a dream of my own because by doing so I’d model the importance of self-value to my girls.  I’d demonstrate the ability to balance self and family.

The idea was that if I carved time out for what was important to me, while at the same time striving to show my girls that I valued what was important to them, they would learn that caring for your own well-being is equally as important as caring for the well-being of others. And that doing both is possible.

I have to admit that while I was given this advice, I haven’t always followed it.  Rather, more often I’ve tried to be this Super Mom who can take care of any and everything for almost everyone else.

But really, being a successful Super Mom just isn’t reasonable. Sometimes, I’ve made mistakes.  When those mistakes have involved my kids or a parenting or relationship decision, it’s hard to stomach. That’s when my good ol’ Catholic girl guilt kicks into overdrive.

Intellectually I know those feelings aren’t healthy because nine out of ten times I was just trying to do the right thing. Emotionally though… let’s just say that sometimes it’s harder for me to get past the guilt because I want only good for my kids. (I know, that’s not quite reasonable. But, there you go.)

I think I identify with this song because it speaks to what I really want to do in 2014: Let it go.

Let go of the need to be Super Mom. Let go of residual guilt from past failures. Let go of anything that’s weighing me down.

Last week Ellie blogged about having a one-word resolution for 2014. If you missed her post, I recommend you go back and read it. She did a fabulous job getting me to think about what I want for my 2014. That led me to come up with my one-word resolution: Persevere.

This week I decided upon a mantra for 2014: PERSEVERE and let it go!

When I say this I see myself standing at the top of a mountain, just like Elsa in “Frozen.” Only, my arms are open wide, my head tilted up to feel the sun on my face. I’m ready to go for what I want. To champion myself as much as my loved ones.

How about you? Do you have a mantra for 2014 you’d care to share with us?

And if you’ve seen Frozen, did you love the movie as much as my girls and I did?

Oh, and if it’s snowing in your area, have you built a snowman? 😀

Lessons Learned from Disneyworld

We recently returned from a week at Disneyworld. The trip was a year in planning and went by so quickly. I managed to breathe for a few minutes and learn a few lessons that I think are appropriate for life or a return to Disney.

1) Plan ahead.

All of our planning paid off. We had all of the reservations we wanted. We actually had too many reservations, but when you have a small child, uncertainty is not your friend. If you plan ahead, you always know where you’re headed. You may end up somewhere else, but that forward direction prevents meltdowns and whining.

2) Be flexible.

All of that planning is great, but when you’re in the moment, you have to go with the flow. You can always go back to the plan, but it’s the little detours in life that make the journey fun. I’m so glad we were flexible enough to deviate from our plans and investigate the little nooks. We found surprises we hadn’t expected!

3) Ask for help.

Disneyworld is huge. If you haven’t been there, you cannot imagine the size. We got lost, took wrong turns, and were confused about transportation and reservations. I didn’t waste time wandering. I asked for help right away. I need to do that in life more often. Too often I circle in the dark, when if I just put some of my pride aside and asked for help, I wouldn’t have to struggle.

4) Plan for downtime.

We didn’t do much of this, and it was a mistake. We wanted to squeeze as much as we could into our time. But small kids need time to rest, especially with so much going on. I don’t plan enough rest time in my life either. I work and work until I pretty much collapse. It’s not a very healthy way to live life or vacation. The best thing we did was to remain flexible, and when my daughter was tired, we went back to the room and rested.

5) Leave while you’re still having fun.

I almost think a week is too long. There was so much to see that we needed all the time, but we were on the verge of being short with one another and giving in to exhaustion. Even Disneyworld isn’t fun if you’ve overstayed. The same goes with life. When work or the way you’re doing things in your family isn’t fun anymore, it’s time to change it up.

Have you learned anything from your recent or past travels?

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Disney Princesses

Okay, moms of girls. You knew this was coming, right? Baby Galen is obsessed with Disney princesses. She wants to read about them, wear them, dress up as them, and talk about them all the time. So I’ve been educating myself on the Disney princesses–mostly not by choice but because when you have only one topic of conversation, you don’t have a lot of options.

So, Disney princesses. Let’s chat.

Cinderella. She’s the most famous. She’s Baby Galen’s favorite because she wears blue.

Pros: She is kind to animals.

Cons: She’s a bit of a pushover.

Snow White. She lived with 7 dwarves, which is a little strange and difficult to explain.

Pros: She’s resourceful enough to get away when threatened.

Cons: She cooks and cleans and waits on 7 dwarves.

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty). She has three fairy godmothers.

Pros: Um…

Cons: Um…actually, I don’t know much about Aurora because I saw the movie when I was little, and Baby Galen doesn’t care much about her and hasn’t watched the movie all the way through.

Jasmine. She’s an Arabian princess.

Pros: She’s smart and brave and doesn’t care about social class.

Cons: She can be a little sexier than I’m comfortable with.

Belle. She’s the one in Beauty and the Beast.

Pros: She loves to read.

Cons: Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd she falls in love with an animal?

Rapunzel. She’s my favorite. She has really long hair.

Pros: She’s strong and independent and handy with a frying pan. Also my favorite line: “You broke my smolder.” And my favorite hero, Flynn. I want to marry him.

Cons: The poor girl was kidnapped and raised by a witch with some mental issues. Scarred for life?

Ariel. She’s a mermaid.

Pros: Curiosity, I guess?

Cons: She will do anything for Prince Eric, even leave her family, sell her soul, sell her father’s soul…

Tiana. She’s an American princess.

Pros: She’s smart and has a great father for a role model.

Cons: There’s a lot of voodoo in the movie, which makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Pocahontas. Indian princess?

Pros: She’s really in tune with nature. A green Disney princess.

Cons: Pretty sure this movie is nothing like how the real story went.

Mulan. We haven’t watched this one yet, and I saw it too long ago to remember anything other than she dresses like a man to fight in a war.

Merida. We haven’t watched this either. There’s a scary bear. And I just can’t add one more princess to our repertoire.

Who’s your favorite and least favorite Disney princess?

Shana Galen, Multitasker Mama
I’m Shana Galen, AKA Multitasker Mama (and aren’t we all?). I’m a wife, mom to a three-year-old daughter I call Baby Galen. My parenting motto is, “Keep moving. Don’t pass out. Don’t throw up.” Or maybe that’s my fitness motto? www.shanagalen.com

Guest mom: Rhonda Peyton (Robyn’s sister!)

This is Robyn and today we have a super special guest blogger…it’s my older sister, Rhonda. I asked her to guest blog today because we’re getting close to summer vacation time and she’s a veritable expert on traveling with children regardless of their age. So without further ado…I give you my sister…

My name is Rhonda, I am the mother of 2, married to my best friend and and we have been traveling across America together for the past 20 years. As I look back on our travels I realize that not only did we travel well with young children, but have given our kids, now 20 and 18, a love for the great Road Trip. In part, passed onto me from my own childhood.

Here are the trips we’ve taken over the last 18 years.

Disney World (flew) ages 2&4
Washington DC. 3&5
W.Virginia 4&6
Florida 5&7
Colorado 6&8
Mississippi/New Orleans 7&9
Big Bend, TX 8&10
St. Louis, MO 9&11
Disney World (flew) 10&12
Tennessee 11&13
St. Louis/Chicago, IL (drove/Amtrak) 12&14
Mt. Rushmore 13$15
NY/Niagara Falls/DC. 14&16
Tennessee 14&16
California/Las Vegas/New Mexico 15&17
Wisconsin/St. Louis 16&18
Big Bend, TX 18&20
Beach trips (10 or more times) from the age of 2 and up. Corpus Christi, Galveston, Padre Island, Bolivar (all beaches in TX)

TRANSPORTATION: 5 different vans, Taurus, Suburban, Highlander, steam engine, Amtrak, subway, taxi, trolly, bus, fairy, boat and airplane.

FOOD: White table-cloth steak houses, Triple D diners, local dives, fast-food and chains.

AMUSEMENT PARKS:  Six Flags, Astroworld, Sea World, Fiesta Texas, Busch Gardens & Disney World.

ZOOS: Amarillo, TX; Ft. Worth, TX, Houston, TX, San Antonio, TX; Waco, TX; DC.; St. Louis, MO

AQUARIUMS: Corpus Christi, TX; Moody Gardens (TX); Chattanooga, TN; DC.

OTHER SIGHTS: Museums, mounments,bridges, national parks.

CAR TUNES: Joe Scruggs, Veggie Tales, various vbs, Toby Keith, George Straight, Beach Boys, WOW’s, oldies, and music from multiple shows we were in or saw.

Each time we decided on our next destination, I began the research. I think making as detailed of plan as possible is the key to having a successful and enjoyable trip. I would divide the miles to be traveled by the hours and then begin preparing my 2 lists:  the 1st list was of items we always traveled with and the 2nd list would be more specific to the particular trip at hand.

Usual list 1: gallon ziplock bags,mileage bags, cd’s, addresses & stamps, first aid, wet wipes, towels, travel cups, snacks,box of sandwich bags, books on tape, swim suits, cooler with drinks, receipt envelope, window shades, travel boxes….

Gallon bags : these I used to pack the kids clothes in. Each bag had the childs name on it and date to be worn. This helped when planning which clothes were for traveling (for comfort) , which were for parks, museums, the White House or meeting famous people like senators or Mickey Mouse! Packing in ziplocks also helped save room (like space saver bags) and made for a great way to store dirty clothes separate from clean, by putting them back in the same bag they came in. (Great for wet swim suits too)

Mileage bags: these were life-savers when traveling with small children. I used small paper bags, each numbered and labeled with kids name. Each bag usually contained 3 items : a snack (animal cookies, fruit snacks…) an activity (crayons & book, silly puddy, wipe off  bd,paper dolls, stickers…) and a character for pretending (action figure, small stuffed toy). I would divide the miles we were going to travel into small sections, like about every 90 to 120 miles and then the kids would get their bag. This helped pass the time, and taught them about mile-markers and time of travel.

CD’s : music we All liked as a family that we could sing to….without judgement.

Sandwich bags: were for all the treasures we would find during our stops and a sharpie so I could label each bag so we knew whose treasures they were and where they came from.

Travel boxes: each kid had a plastic box with a lid that could hold all their travel needs and double as a desk. This helped things not get lost, and not be so cluttered in the back seat.

Being a stay home mom with a 1 income (educator’s salary) we were usually on a tight budget, so we found ways to enjoy our trips without spending too much, especially on the traveling days. I did however, research the trip and area we would be in so if we were going to be near a park or a specific interest of 1 of ours….like my son went thru a phase where he was interested in bridges. Well when I did research I found all kinds of bridges we would have missed had I not been looking. Seeing these extras didn’t add much time to the trip and were free! Maybe you are going to be near a famous persons place, in history, like Billy the Kid or Laura Wilder. Just do a search for interest that are near where you will be traveling.

A typical, long travel day for us would have looked something like this…we packed the car the night before and had everything ready for departure, so when we woke them up all they had to do was get dressed and we would each grab our travel cups. We would leave as early as possible, before breakfast, so that we could get as many miles as possible behind us before stopping for breakfast. I know fast-food is not the healthy choice, but we would look for a stop that had one of those indoor playgrounds, this way we could eat while they played and then we would all visit the restrooms and bring any of the kids breakfast with us when we left. When we got back into the car the kids would eat and then they would get their first mileage bag. We would just talk and let the kids get the most out of their 1st mileage bag…we wanted it to entertain them for long as it could. We would then play a book on tape, music or play a car game to pass the time. ( ie… Car bingo, alphabet game.)

Our kids did not have a movie playing device for the car until they were 10 & 12, so we had to use what we had to entertain them. We tried to plan our lunch by packing one with us or we would stop and pick something up and head to the nearest park or rest area. We tried to go somewhere outside so that they could walk around and get some exercise. This is when we would use the little ziplock bags and let each kid pick up some ” treasures” rocks, acorns, a leaf….the point was to get some moving in, so that just maybe they would nap when we got back on the road. After lunch and hopefully a nap we would sometimes look for another indoor playground stop, we could get a drink, maybe a small cone, the kids could play and of course we would all go to the restroom before loading back up. The kids always knew that these stops would be short, so they were prepared for us to give them the 5 min warning and they seemed fine with it. 10 – 20 min went a long way in helping the weary traveling kid, and helping them…..helped us!

On travel days we always tried to stay in a hotel that had 3 things in common: cheap, free breakfast and a POOL! We would try to get to the hotel with enough time for us to swim, for at least 30 minutes. Swimming is great for tired, stiff muscles that have been sitting in a car all day and it makes for a great nights sleep. We liked to go out to dinner to a place with the “local” flavor. If time permitted, we would try and swim in the morning too, this would cause us to have a later start on morning 2. When scheduling our trip we tried to have our heaviest travel day on day 1 so that day 2 could be lighter. If we had several days of travel in front of us then we often alternated long then short travel days.

We have traveled 35 of the 50 states, we even had one of our new teenage drivers get his driving hours in 25 of those states. We have seen the Grand Canyon, Pala Duro canyon, the white sands desert, Hoover Dam, Niagara Falls,the Statue of Liberty, the Washington Monument, the giant red woods, the Gulf of Mexico, the Atlantic and the Pacific, Crater Lake and a great lake, the mountains of Colorado, the Smokies in Tennessee and all the plains in between….memories for a lifetime

My advice, make your trips as personal as you can, for your family. Maybe you and your family like a specific food show, make a list of places and dishes you would like to try. Maybe architecture is interesting or battlefields, maybe courthouses, Route 66 , national monuments or windmills…..whatever your family finds interesting will add to your family trips. When crossing state lines stop at the welcome centers, they have clean restrooms, complimentary maps, information about state wide attractions and often a state-themed activity book for kids. Just do your homework so you know how much things cost, so you can plan for it. Be prepared for plans to change due to unforeseen things that Will come up. Rain closed an attraction, sick kids, car trouble….we have sat on the side of the road and played cards or gone to a movie because of a rained out attraction. Don’t let things outside of your control ruin your trip, you are making memories…make them good ones!

Souvenirs. We did like to buy post cards to send to family, friends, teachers…we helped the kids write them until they were old enough to do it themselves. We sent them to a variety of people depending on when and where we went. Our souvenirs were not always the same but we did have some usuals. I like coffee mugs & christmas ornaments, my daughter liked bells or playing cards my son liked things that were specific to the trip, sometimes both son and husband got hats. We also liked getting music from someone we had seen on our trip or a soundtrack from a musical or show that we got to see. We tried to keep them to small items, with a few exceptions…like the walking stick my son had to have and has traveled with us to every park since. He has it with us on this trip we are currently taking to Big Bend and we are also listening to our soundtract from Grease that we got to see on Broadway.

We have a shell luggage carrier we put on top of our car, so that everything inside the car is for traveling purpose and that gives us a lot more room. The luggage carrier makes our vehicle look like a turtle and so that is what we call it, it also makes it easy to find in a crowded parking lot. As we take this trip to Big Bend and plan for a summer wedding trip to Gatlinberg, I am mindful that any of these trips could be the last “family” trip we take. My kids will both be in college next year and our lives are changing daily. I cherish the travels and adventures we have had and look forward to getting postcards from them when they travel with their own families some day. I wish you safe and happy travels, now go make some memories!

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Rhonda Peyton is a wife and mother. She’s a former Dance Team instructor and taught high school for ten years. She’s the sister of the fabulously famous Robyn DeHart.

In Praise of Timers

Recently I posted about my daughter’s love of Cinderella and all things princess. That obsession hasn’t really abated. I wish I had her enthusiasm for the topic, but alas, I do not. Maybe if she would let me vary the plot once in a while, but she sticks stubbornly to the script.

This is the exchange between Ophelia, the naughty princess (a Lego) and Cinderella.
Cinderella: Hi, my name is Cinderella.
Ophelia: I don’t think princesses. Go away.
Cinderella: Waaaa!
Ophelia’s Mom (a Little People): Ophelia, you have to be nice. Go to time out and apologize.
Ophelia: I’m sorry. Will you be my friend?
Cinderella: Yes. (hug, hug, hug)

Over and over and over.

Sometimes I suggest Ophelia and Cinderella or Belle or Tiana go to a ball or on a picnic or something like that, but once they get there, it’s the same script. So here’s what I’ve done to keep my sanity. I agree to play with her for a set amount of time—say, 20 minutes. I set the timer and play whatever she wants for 20 minutes. Sometimes she just wants me to sit there with her while she plays. Sometimes I have to play all the characters. The main rule is that she gets to lead the play and I have to give her 100% of my attention. I don’t answer the phone, or check email, or pick up toys. I play.

Then the timer goes off and I’m free—I mean, I have a little time to do something I need to do. Baby Galen has embraced the timer. She’ll say, “Mama, come play! Get the timer.”

Do you have any suggestions for balancing play time and the other mom chores?

Cinderella

Like many girls her age (3), Baby Galen has discovered the Disney princesses. She loves them all, but mostly she loves Cinderella. It’s because Cinderella wears blue, which is Baby G’s favorite color. She even says she likes light blue now, whereas dark blue used to be her favorite.

When her girl friends come over, they play dress up and princesses, but when it’s just the two of us, I am conscripted to play. I don’t mind playing for a little while. And in the past, 20 minutes was enough for her.

But suddenly it seems her attention span is longer and her imaginary scenarios more developed, and she wants me to play for hours. Moms, I don’t know about you, but I have laundry, cooking, dishes, and a book to write. I cannot do anything for hours.

And so I am constantly having to say, “No, I can’t go to the ball right now. I have to _________ (insert task here).”

And then I remember one of my favorite Steven Curtis Chapman songs, “Cinderella.” I never listen to it because it always makes me cry. It’s a good song to think about when I’m being asked to yet another ball, because this time in my daughter’s life won’t last forever.

She’s pulling at me
Saying “Dad, I need you

There’s a ball at the castle
And I’ve been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?”

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone…

How do you remember to take time out to dance with your Cinderella or Prince Charming?