Let It Go!

If you haven’t seen the movie “Frozen,” my advice is to get your weekend matinee tickets right now! My girls and I saw it multiple times over the holidays and have really taken a liking to the soundtrack. Lyrics have even been texted back and forth between us at opportune moments.

“Do You Wanna Build a Snowman” tugs at my heart every time—yes, I’m a sappy mom, but it’s hard not to feel for the young girl who simply longs for a connection with her once beloved sister. I’ll say no more about the song to avoid giving away too much of the plot. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go see the movie. 🙂

But there’s another song whose lyrics and underlying message have struck a note inside me. I’m talking about “Let It Go.”

In this song a character sings about being true to who she is. About no longer being the person she’s expected to be. About letting a painful past slip away so she can reach for a future where she feels free to embrace her true essence. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk 

As moms we want our kids to be the best they can be. To achieve whatever it is that will make them happy. We encourage them to go for their dreams.

Yet oftentimes, as we champion our kids, we forget to champion ourselves. As we care for them, we neglect ourselves. Honestly, that’s not good for our kids or for us. One of the best pieces of parenting advice given to me was that I needed to make the time to work on a dream of my own because by doing so I’d model the importance of self-value to my girls.  I’d demonstrate the ability to balance self and family.

The idea was that if I carved time out for what was important to me, while at the same time striving to show my girls that I valued what was important to them, they would learn that caring for your own well-being is equally as important as caring for the well-being of others. And that doing both is possible.

I have to admit that while I was given this advice, I haven’t always followed it.  Rather, more often I’ve tried to be this Super Mom who can take care of any and everything for almost everyone else.

But really, being a successful Super Mom just isn’t reasonable. Sometimes, I’ve made mistakes.  When those mistakes have involved my kids or a parenting or relationship decision, it’s hard to stomach. That’s when my good ol’ Catholic girl guilt kicks into overdrive.

Intellectually I know those feelings aren’t healthy because nine out of ten times I was just trying to do the right thing. Emotionally though… let’s just say that sometimes it’s harder for me to get past the guilt because I want only good for my kids. (I know, that’s not quite reasonable. But, there you go.)

I think I identify with this song because it speaks to what I really want to do in 2014: Let it go.

Let go of the need to be Super Mom. Let go of residual guilt from past failures. Let go of anything that’s weighing me down.

Last week Ellie blogged about having a one-word resolution for 2014. If you missed her post, I recommend you go back and read it. She did a fabulous job getting me to think about what I want for my 2014. That led me to come up with my one-word resolution: Persevere.

This week I decided upon a mantra for 2014: PERSEVERE and let it go!

When I say this I see myself standing at the top of a mountain, just like Elsa in “Frozen.” Only, my arms are open wide, my head tilted up to feel the sun on my face. I’m ready to go for what I want. To champion myself as much as my loved ones.

How about you? Do you have a mantra for 2014 you’d care to share with us?

And if you’ve seen Frozen, did you love the movie as much as my girls and I did?

Oh, and if it’s snowing in your area, have you built a snowman? 😀

Confessions of a Super Mom

Please help us welcome today’s guest, Misty Evans, fellow author and surviving mom! =)

My name is Misty and I’m a Super Mom.

Or was. It happened the day my twin boys were born. Maybe even before that, while they were still in utero and I was on bedrest. I read every book on twins my husband could find. I made endless lists, listened to baby experts on TV and did that year’s Christmas card letter announcing the happy news while lying flat on my back.

And after they were born…

Red cape? Check. Bake sale goods for the school fundraiser that would make Martha Stewart proud? Check. Learning Spanish with them while simultaneously driving to preschool (followed by tumbling and guitar lessons)? Check.

I’m an author, so I wrote books while in line to pick them up from school. I organized kindergarten teas while negotiating contracts with publishers. Bon Jovi’s I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead was my theme song.

And then I picked up a little book, called, You’re a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either): 14 Secrets to Finding Happiness Between Super Mom and Slacker Mom by Jen Singer.

Turned my life around.

I laughed at Jen’s humorous take on motherhood and realized I had a problem. Up ‘til then, I hadn’t recognized my addiction to being Super Mom. I mean, everyone sewed Halloween costumes at three in the morning while the organic chocolate coating on five dozen homemade strawberry ghosts set up in the fridge for that day’s class party, right? Right?

Apparently not. Not according to Jen (or even Martha, for that matter).

The relief was overwhelming. Not only was it okay to feed the kids Captain Crunch so I could finish a chapter of the book due at the end of the week, it was normal. It was okay to make them walk or ride their bikes the three blocks to school. They got exercise, I saved gas and I also got a few peaceful moments to drink my coffee and take a shower before I sat back down at the computer. A shower with no interruptions! Coffee that was still hot! Heaven.

After reading the book, I packed away the red cape and found a bit of sanity. Sure, I still go overboard with bake sales now and then—who doesn’t?— but I’m not worn out anymore. Tired, yes. Chronically fatigued to the point of a nervous breakdown? No.

The kids are happier. I’m happier. My career continues to grow along with them.

So the next time that red cape around your shoulders starts getting too tight, check out Jen’s book and regain your sanity. Admit your addiction. None of us should go it alone on this motherhood journey and adding a bit of humor and encouragement makes it as sweet as those strawberry ghosts hiding in your fridge.

Now to sharing the joys of motherhood with this fun video. =)

Misty Evans is the author of four series and she has short stories in Entangled, A Paranormal Anthology, and Every Witch Way But Wicked. All proceeds from Entangled go to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation and all proceeds for EWWBW go to Nathon Fillion’s Kids Need To Read charity. Her latest release is the holiday novella, The Secret Life of Cranberry Sauce, which includes a free recipe.                                  

Misty is currently at work on the next books in all her series while juggling motherhood. When not reading or writing, she enjoys hanging out with her husband of twenty-plus years and their twin sons. She never did learn Spanish. Visit her at www.readmistyevans.com. Like her author page on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.