Let It Go!

If you haven’t seen the movie “Frozen,” my advice is to get your weekend matinee tickets right now! My girls and I saw it multiple times over the holidays and have really taken a liking to the soundtrack. Lyrics have even been texted back and forth between us at opportune moments.

“Do You Wanna Build a Snowman” tugs at my heart every time—yes, I’m a sappy mom, but it’s hard not to feel for the young girl who simply longs for a connection with her once beloved sister. I’ll say no more about the song to avoid giving away too much of the plot. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go see the movie. 🙂

But there’s another song whose lyrics and underlying message have struck a note inside me. I’m talking about “Let It Go.”

In this song a character sings about being true to who she is. About no longer being the person she’s expected to be. About letting a painful past slip away so she can reach for a future where she feels free to embrace her true essence. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk 

As moms we want our kids to be the best they can be. To achieve whatever it is that will make them happy. We encourage them to go for their dreams.

Yet oftentimes, as we champion our kids, we forget to champion ourselves. As we care for them, we neglect ourselves. Honestly, that’s not good for our kids or for us. One of the best pieces of parenting advice given to me was that I needed to make the time to work on a dream of my own because by doing so I’d model the importance of self-value to my girls.  I’d demonstrate the ability to balance self and family.

The idea was that if I carved time out for what was important to me, while at the same time striving to show my girls that I valued what was important to them, they would learn that caring for your own well-being is equally as important as caring for the well-being of others. And that doing both is possible.

I have to admit that while I was given this advice, I haven’t always followed it.  Rather, more often I’ve tried to be this Super Mom who can take care of any and everything for almost everyone else.

But really, being a successful Super Mom just isn’t reasonable. Sometimes, I’ve made mistakes.  When those mistakes have involved my kids or a parenting or relationship decision, it’s hard to stomach. That’s when my good ol’ Catholic girl guilt kicks into overdrive.

Intellectually I know those feelings aren’t healthy because nine out of ten times I was just trying to do the right thing. Emotionally though… let’s just say that sometimes it’s harder for me to get past the guilt because I want only good for my kids. (I know, that’s not quite reasonable. But, there you go.)

I think I identify with this song because it speaks to what I really want to do in 2014: Let it go.

Let go of the need to be Super Mom. Let go of residual guilt from past failures. Let go of anything that’s weighing me down.

Last week Ellie blogged about having a one-word resolution for 2014. If you missed her post, I recommend you go back and read it. She did a fabulous job getting me to think about what I want for my 2014. That led me to come up with my one-word resolution: Persevere.

This week I decided upon a mantra for 2014: PERSEVERE and let it go!

When I say this I see myself standing at the top of a mountain, just like Elsa in “Frozen.” Only, my arms are open wide, my head tilted up to feel the sun on my face. I’m ready to go for what I want. To champion myself as much as my loved ones.

How about you? Do you have a mantra for 2014 you’d care to share with us?

And if you’ve seen Frozen, did you love the movie as much as my girls and I did?

Oh, and if it’s snowing in your area, have you built a snowman? 😀

28 thoughts on “Let It Go!

  1. Wow, thanks for letting us in on a Frozen review. Although right now I’m perfectly happy with the warmer temperatures in Houston, despite a rather frosty start on Monday. I had thought about taking Ally to see it. She’s 3 (and while I see it’s rated PG), it appeared to be a great movie. After all I did take her at 2 to see Monster’s U and became mom of the year through that one act. We LOVE Studio Movie Grill where she can have a cookie and some milk!

    I love this message of let it go. I do this often or I try to. I think because her first year I was so full of mommy guilt. You see I travelled 50% of the time to platforms, oil rigs and petrochemical plants across the world. I’ve been on the executive career track for years….stayed single a while…got married late…and had a kid at nearly 35. I wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids. She was my miracle.

    But the travel didn’t stop and she was with daddy all the time. Oh I anguished night after night. It was a blessing. She has an amazing relationship with my husband. And, I’m glad now to be off the road more, but I still savor me time. I still exercise. I still spa. I still drink wine. I still keep her in daycare during the holidays because she needs and likes the structure. I still go out with my girlfriends. I still make sure my husband and I have date night.

    Because at the end of the day I’m a happier, fitter, more put together mom and wife and that makes me able to be a better at everything. When I feel the guilt creeping, I get a girlfriend to knock sense into me.

    Let it Go. It’s so true. Thank you for a wonderful post.

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    • Katie, it sounds like you’re mastering the balance of “me time” with “mom time” as well as “marriage time.” Awesome! It’s not an easy job to do.

      One thing you mention is what I love about the PBK blog– having other moms and girlfriends who are there to give us the kick in the pants, the pep talk, the sage advice…whatever we need to help us get over whatever bump in the road we’ve encountered.

      I love your spa day idea! May have to try that one in 2014!! 🙂

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    • Ally would love it, except for maybe the snow monster. Princess Galen was a little scared of that part. Actually, she was most afraid of the trailer for Maleficent at the start, so maybe go a little late or take a potty break during previews.

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      • Hey we went on Sunday and she’s been bugging me to get the movie on her IPAD. So. Stinking. Cute. She didn’t like the snow monster but talked about him the whole week this week. Oh and wow, what a sweet story with meaning. I love Disney.

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  2. Wonderful post, Pris!! I think perseverance and “LET IT GO” is a wonderful theme. Nearly a year ago, after a seven month break where I got to be a “full time writer” I had to face reality and go back to work full time. I’m still trying to make it all work out. I have learned that in order to stay sane and happy, I do have to let some things go, which is difficult, because I think so many of us are perfectionists at heart. Those moments we take just for ourselves are so important! Thanks again for the inspiring words!

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    • Lily, oftentimes it’s so much easier to give advice than to take it. 🙂 I’d give my girls guidance, but then not be self-disciplined enough or not pay enough attention to my own personal life to take those same steps I’m advising my girls about.

      I guess it’s about making sure I love myself as much as I love my girls– and the rest of my family and friends. Making choices for myself rather than letting my life pass by while I’m focusing on someone elses.

      It’s a delicate balance. But it’s worth the effort. 🙂

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  3. I’ve seen Frozen twice. Loved it. I still get teary thinking about Do You Want to Build a Snowman. So tough to even listen to the song, but we do! Let It Go is also a favorite. We were singing it this morning, in fact. The theme is good advice, which I need to take to heart. I have TMJ and it’s getting increasingly worse because I’m so stressed. I have to let some things go–or say no, which is another blog altogether! My word this year is FUN! See why I need it?

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  4. I haven’t seen Frozen yet, I have a boy that is saying he’d rather go see Anchorman 2. He’s at that age that animated Disney movies are for girls. So, I’m going to have to make time for myself to go see it based on the reviews I’ve been reading!

    Letting go is the hardest thing to do for me as well. I’ve had to do a lot of meditation on it, question if it is worth stressing over something I can’t change (like people’s opinions) and forcing myself to move on. I over analyze a lot, Monday morning quarterbacking (what could I have done differently? I know I could have done better…) and I tend to be a perfectionist.

    My son knows that I’m trying to write a book, and we’ve started doing our ‘homework’ together. He does his math, while I do my plotting/writing/scratching my head. Believe it or not, it’s stopped a lot of the “I don’t want to do my homework” struggle because he knows I’m not having fun, as I’m working and he has company in his ‘misery’. (I am enjoying myself, but don’t tell him that, ok?). He’s learned that I do have my own interests and it’s ok for him and I to have different ones.

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    • Pirate Trisha, you’re “Monday morning quarterbacking” analogy is spot on for me– especially since I’m a sports nut. 🙂

      It’s the coulda, woulda, shouldas that we need to stop focusing on. Or, at least I do.

      I love the idea of sitting down to work alongside your son. It’s a great way to show him that hard work is important to get the results you want– in your case, a novel. I’m sure he’ll be just as excited as you are when you finally type “The End”in your manuscript.

      Please keep us posted with how that’s going!

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  5. Great post, Priscilla. I had a very forward thinking grandmother. She always told me to save a little of all I earned and a little of every day for myself. This was my mantra, “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy.” My kids now recite it back to me. 😉 Though it sounds selfish, taking care of yourself is the only way to have the stamina to take care of those you love and show them how to take care of themselves.
    Oh, and the high in my neck of the woods is 64 degrees today.

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    • Pamela, your grandmother sounds like a wise woman. I’m going to pass along her advice to my girls: save a little of all you earn and a little of every day for yourself.

      It’s a simple concept that we tend to make much harder than necessary. Thanks for sharing her wisdom with us!

      64 degrees sounds good to me. I’m dealing with a drizzly 54. :-/

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  6. Pris,
    Great blog! I loved FROZEN and plan to buy a copy as soon as it’s available. It is important to save some time for ourselves otherwise we wake up one day and look in the mirror, wondering who we are! 2014 is my year to rediscover me. I hope you do the same!

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    • Jean, I saw a commercial the other day and the tag line went something like: How many times can we reinvent ourselves…Infinitely!

      Rediscovery and reinvention sound like great goals for 2014! I say, let’s do it! 🙂

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  7. I loved and despised that movie for a variety of spoiler-ish reason. I bought my daughter the soundtrack, and we all go around the house singing it. Last year was my Free at 50 year, so that was my “Let it Go” year. This year is “Get it Done at 51”, which can be applied to many areas of my life
    Lovely blog post.

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  8. I usually pick a “Word of the Year” and this year invited my coworkers to join me. One chose the word “enough.” As in, my work today was good enough. She’s looking at it not in terms of settling or frustration, but with the thought that it will help stretch her out of her tendency toward perfectionism and overwork. “Let it go” seems to be in keeping with that and I’m going to hunt up a YouTube of it to send to her as a vote of support.

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    • Keely, funny, when I first read “enough” I thought, hmmm is that positive? But the way you explain her mindset I can see it definitely is.

      It’s kinda similar to editing or revising a manuscript. I can keep tweaking, keep changing, keep adding… but at some point I have to trust that it’s done. That it’s good enough. That it’s a fabulous representation of what I imagine for my characters.

      Sounds like your co-worker has realized her tendency to overthink or overdo or just not trust that she’s given her best. Definitely show her the YouTube of “Let It Go”— it should be linked in the body of my blog post.

      I hope she likes it and finds the same type of inspiration I have.

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  9. My family loooved the movie! I’m still thinking about my one-word mantra…let me know if you have suggestions. 🙂

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    • Oooh, Anita, you’ve proposed a challenge– find Anita’s word! 🙂

      You’re a dynamo of a mom– writer, volunteer, taxi driver, problem solver, spokesperson for the less fortunate, exerciser… the list goes on and on.

      I’d love to say your word should be travel– as in, come visit me! 🙂

      I have complete faith in your ability to figure the one word that exactly speaks to what you might need in 2014. Can’t wait to hear what it is.

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  10. My family enjoyed the movie. I wish my daughter was older, I know she would love it like all of the other little girls who see it.

    It snowed where I live but the snow still isn’t good enough to make a snowman. I can’t even make a snowball with it. My son has been asking about building a snowman though so I hope we get some more snow just for that.

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    • Alyn, if you’re daughter enjoyed Frozen now, I imagine she’ll still love it as she gets older. My girls are college age and beyond and we still enjoy “visiting the princesses” in Disney World whenever we get a chance. 🙂

      No chance of me building a snowman where I live, but my girls are all up north in college or working so if their busy schedules will allow, I’m thinking they’ll be sending me a pic of a snowman at some point before spring arrives.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  11. Well said. I loved the one word mantra post too. I don’t have one. But I have made a commitment to myself. Three days a week, I will make it to the gym. Every week. The rest of the world will have to do without me for that 2 hours or so at least 3 times a week. Something tells me it might be a little shock for them but they will figure it out just fine.And I am still sticking with the at least one book a week. Starting this week. I did manage it last year until Thanksgiving. Then I faltered.
    And on we go. Chin up moving forward.
    And I have seen Frozen 4 times. Three of them with my granddaughter. Once with my 23 year old son. LOL
    The soundtrack is in my car. 😉

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    • I love that you’ve seen Frozen with grandkids and your 23 year old son! I’ve got the music to Frozen on my iPhone and I love it! 🙂

      If only I could harness your willpower to get to the gym regularly. I’m trying to get back to running, but will need to add strength training in there at some point.

      I added reading to my monthly To Do list as well. As a writer and book lover, it’s a necessity (both mentally and spiritually) to sit down with a good book and get lost in someone else’s world. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by, Lisoo

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