Cookie Exchange!

If you remember when we first introduced ourselves on this blog, I took the moniker, La Vida Loca Mom.

Just the other day I was telling my pal, author Cindy Miles, that it just didn’t feel like Christmas to me this year. For one thing, I live in Texas and it was 80 degrees outside. I’m really hoping for at least the low 60s for Christmas Day! But mostly because I’ve just been so busy.

Because I work at the corporate office for a restaurant group, December is just…insane. I work long hours, and even weekends, which I don’t do any other time during the year. It’s 100 miles a minute, from the second I walk in the door, until the moment I leave. I do have fun because I work with a great group of people, and we’re making Christmas really special for others, in lots of different ways (on top of our usual work load), but at the end of the day, I’m drained and left with little time to make my own family’s Christmas special.

But I’m determined to get on track this weekend. Sunday is MINE. I’m going to get my Christmas cards written (better late than never!) and bake cookies with my daughter. That’s part of Christmas for me, having cookies and cranberry orange bread to eat and they make the house smell great the way Christmas should! I always try to make a few new kinds of cookies, but there are several I’ve made since I was little and baking cookies with my mom. Here’s my sentimental favorite, Berlinerkranser, that I’ll be making again this year—in its original Technicolor format, the treasured original being a gift from my mom several years back.

If you double click the image, the picture will enlarge enough so you can read! Sorry, I was too inept to successfully resize it. And no, I’ve never tried to make that magnificent Yule Log. Yet.

Do you have a favorite Christmas cookie recipe? Tell us about it! If you have a link to the recipe, even better! Please share!

The Holiday Spirit

It’s that time of year again! The stores are decked out in every kind of sparkle, and playing Christmas songs on their speakers. Everywhere we look, we’re being encouraged to buy buy buy (i.e., Spend! Spend! Spend!)

Many of us look for more meaningful ways to celebrate the true spirit of the holiday. I know I want my kids to be able to look beyond all the marketing mania and materialism, and know there’s much more to this very special season than “stuff”. Opportunities to make a difference abound, in big ways and small. Here are a couple of things we’re doing this year:

My daughter and I “adopted” a toddler age child and young mom who currently live at a place called Covenant House. Ever heard of Covenant House? They have “houses” in 27 cities throughout the US, Canada and Latin America, and provide support services and opportunities to homeless kids. Teens in crisis is an issue that’s become very important to me, maybe because my kids are teenagers now and I’ve become more and more aware that many (many) kids don’t have stable homes to go home to each night. They are passed around between family members that may or may not want to care for them, or fending for themselves. For Christmas, we bought our adopted mom-and-child clothes, other necessities and of course–some toys. We hope our gifts make their Christmas a little brighter.

And here’s something I saw in the news this morning—an opportunity for young kids, teenagers or adults that would take five minutes of your time, and mean a great deal to a very special someone. This may be 6-year-old Addie Fausett’s last Christmas, for reasons you can read about in the article if you wish. One thing that raises her spirits, is receiving Christmas cards. If you or your child want to send Addie a Christmas card, her address is: P.O Box 162, Fountain Green, Utah, 84632

What are some special things you’ve done, this year, or previous years, to keep your holiday season “real”?

Ode to Beverly Goldberg

Over the years I’ve seen numerous features on TV and the Internet about “Favorite TV Moms”. There are certain moms that always make an appearance this list. June Cleaver and Carol Brady come to mind. They’re always cheerful, dignified, lovingly concerned and you never, ever doubt their devotion to their children. They are the epitome of motherhood. And they always so wise, offer the best advice, and…well, I never heard June or Carol holler at their kids or let a curse word slip.

They’re heartwarming characters, but…I don’t really relate to them so much. My favorite TV mom? Beverly Goldberg. Anyone watch The Goldbergs?

I love Beverly. Beverly lakes me laugh. A lot. I relate to Beverly. Why?

Beverly unabashedly loves all three of her children, but…we get to see the human side of Beverly. She loves to watch them sleep. She gets wounded when one of them rebuffs her (very persistent) affections. She plays “favorites”, giving the last of the Boo Berry Cereal to whoever hasn’t hurt her feelings that day. She attends all of her kids’ important events (even when they don’t want her to). And she shamelessly interferes in their lives. Oh, and she snoops.

AND, best of all, since it’s the 80s, she wears fab outfits featuring shoulder pads, decorated sweaters and yes, even parachute pants.

You may be horrified by all of these things, but they only make my love Beverly more. Other than the fashion choices, I’m a lot like Beverly and Beverly’s a lot like me.

Who’s your favorite TV Mom. Do you relate to her, and why?

A Life Milestone

My husband and I recently celebrated our 20th anniversary! I can’t believe it. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been married for 20 years. Is there a secret to staying married that long? I don’t think so. As writers of romance, we love the idea of happily ever after! But every combination of people is completely different, so the same relationship “advice” wouldn’t apply to every couple. While our marriage has not always been rainbows and butterflies, in our particular case I think “don’t sweat the small stuff” has been a good mantra. We had to realize early on we weren’t the same person, and didn’t share a brain, and that our differences were what attracted us to each other in the first place so we couldn’t try to change those personality traits now. We also are very much friends and equal partners in life, without one person being more “in charge” than the other. Also, my husband does all the laundry. 🙂 Enough said. He’s my dream man. Truly, I love him to pieces.

So how did we memorialize this milestone in our life? We splurged and went on a trip a-l-o-n-e, which we never do. We live in Texas, and we traveled to Banff, Alberta Canada and stayed in the “Castle of the Rockies” the Fairmont Banff Springs hotel.

We took bad selfies…

Ate ourselves silly and found that YES, we can hike all the way up the mountain to Tea House above Lake Louise!

We made some beautiful memories. It was WONDERFUL! I can’t wait to do it again. Here’s to twenty more years with Mr. Dalton!!

What about you? Have you celebrated any life milestones year? Made any big changes? Tell us about them!

My face is falling.

When my daughter was about four years old, she looked at me very seriously, tapped my cheek and said in the saddest voice, “Oh, mommy. Your face is falling.” I don’t know if I had frowned or if she noticed the fine wrinkles that had started to show up around my eyes and cheeks. Whatever the case, at that time I thought what she said was funny! Aw! So cute. After all, I wasn’t “old”! And pshaw! I certainly wasn’t vain.

But she’s twelve now, and her prophetic words have started to come true. My. Face. Is. Falling. I have to admit, for years I felt kind of…hopeful. Smug, even. That maybe I’d age astoundingly better than other women of my age. Oh, it was all a delightful fantasy! One day about eight months ago…I woke up and shuffled down the hallway to get my morning coffee and thought…what’s up with my eyes? They feel so weird. My eyelids were smushing my eyelashes. Were my eyes just swollen from a bad case of allergies?

No, my friends. At some point in the night, just like that (**snap!**) my upper eyelids had done a little landslide down the mountain and now rested against my lower eyelids. Worse yet, they STAYED there. It’s changed the way I look, even causing a little crease at the corner of my eyes. This change, added to my neck, that’s decided to start doing the limbo (LOWER!) and my hair that is now (Boing! Boing! Boing! turning gray and wiry, has forced me to face reality and acknowledge that yes—apparently I’m at least a little vain, because these changes, if I have to be completely honest, bother me.

Mind you, when I talk about vanity, I don’t mean I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring myself and obsessing over my appearance, I just mean the idea of saying goodbye to my younger self is a little unsettling. It means…changes. A graduation of sorts, to “the next part” of life. It’s normal to feel this way, isn’t it?
I’ve always been determined to age gracefully. So…how to do that. I’m not sure, I’m still working through that part. Here are some of my current strategies:

1. I wear sunscreen. Sun damage is the cause of a lot of my aging issues. I’ve got sunspots and wrinkles from spending days at the lake and several years living in Panama, before anyone cared about sunscreen. I used to have the best tan. Now I’m paying for it. No need to compound the damage with more.
2. Makeup. I’ve realized: LESS IS BETTER! And that frosty, shimmery eye shadow is NOT my friend.
3. I indulge in skin care/cosmetic products that work for me. For example, I love products with argan oil in them.
4. I’m more careful of my diet. I’ve gone really heavy on the veggies, and have started working more organic, clean foods into my diet. It’s not about counting calories or losing weight, but about feeling better.
5. I drink a lot of water. I’ve also replaced diet sodas with LaCroix sparkling water.
6. I’ve become more active. I just FEEL better when I’m outside and moving and doing something.
7. Most importantly, I look at the beautiful women I admire so much. My mom, my grandmother, my aunt and mother-in-law, and so many other lovely women who are part of my life every day. They are gorgeous and smart, and have shown that age is something to be proud of—not concealed or ashamed of. Each year of our lives is a blessing. It’s important to measure them by the meaningful relationships we enjoy with the people we love, and our accomplishments, big and small. Not by the lines on our faces.

How about you? Do you have any strategies to share for aging gracefully? Is it something that troubles you—or not at all?

A Work In Progress

I once had a boss, Dr. Ed, who was a well-respected accident reconstructionist. I worked for him for nearly fifteen years. He was a tall, deep-voiced, imposing man who tended to terrify people who didn’t know him—but in truth he was big hearted and caring, not to mention brilliant. And moody and complicated and completely exasperating! But he considered his staff his family, and we loved him. When I first met him, he was eyeball deep into cycling—as in really nice road bicycles. He had all the gear, several bikes, and would go out on the weekends to participate in races. Being a cyclist meant he also held himself to a very strict diet and exercise regimen. He wasn’t one to devote himself to something half-heartedly. He was also interested in firearms. He took every course he could find, learned the mechanics of them, learned to shoot them and educated himself on every bit of minutia there was to know. He earned all the certifications there were to earn. Soon, he was being called not only to consult and testify regarding fifteen car pileups–but also incidents involving firearms.

But Dr. Ed wasn’t finished challenging himself yet. Next, he spent a few years learning everything about Harley Davidsons, and acquiring several beautiful bikes and a show trailer, etc., etc. Then, he started racing. First, he bought and raced Dodge Vipers. Then, Ferraris. He didn’t just race them. Like all of his “hobbies” he learned everything about them—he even traveled to Italy to tour the factory and see how they were built. As an engineer, he was intrigued by the mechanics and performance dynamics of all vehicles. They presented a host of complex problems to him. Problems he wanted to solve! I still remember a funny moment when, completely bewildered, he told me his driving instructor said he was too analytical, overthinking every moment on the race track, and that he needed to learn to rely on his instincts. He had a really hard time with that, as you can imagine. Even funnier was when he called to say he was at a driving course with a guy who “was in some band called AC…DC…” Had I ever heard of it? He had not, that he could recall. Dr. Ed was a little sheltered from popular culture in that way. As you can see, I remember him as a bit larger than life. He was, and suddenly, out of the blue, he was gone from our lives. At his funeral, we all gathered at the race track and in our own vehicles and followed the hearse around until they waved the checkered flag when he crossed the finish line.

I learned A LOT from Dr. Ed, and he made a real impression on my life. Not just mine. When my son was about five years old, Dr. Ed gave him a poster of him driving his Ferrari and autographed it for him. My son still remembers going to watch Dr. Ed race. Just yesterday, my now 16 year old son put that poster in a new frame and hung it on his wall and that got me thinking about how eleven years later, he’s still a part of our lives.

Dr. Ed inspired me to always be a work in progress. To never stop being interested in new things, and learning and bettering myself. While I don’t have his very hard-earned and well-deserved budget, I know budget really doesn’t matter. For example, for the past year, I’ve been teaching myself Spencerian handwriting.

It’s a small thing, and although I’m not very good, I love it. This example, from the Fountain Pen Network is what I aspire to…

My handwriting, as an adult, wasn’t so great, probably because of my reliance on the computer. Not only did I want to improve it, but I love the historical aspect of beautiful cursive writing, and it pains me that kids aren’t learning even the basics in school today. That’s the subject for another blog, though.

Another challenge I’d like to tackle, but haven’t yet…public speaking. I’m awful at it. I love people. I can talk to anyone. But put me up on a stage with a podium and microphone and … something in my brain trips a breaker and I start speaking in tongues. I need to join Toastmasters…just the thought terrifies me. Ha! I may immerse myself in the art of French cooking first.

What about you? What’s something you are currently learning or is there something you would like to learn how to do? Tell me, because I may decide I need to learn it too!

Meaningful Things

I grew up as an Army Brat, moving every 3 to 4 years. My husband grew up like this as well. Our paths almost crossed in Fort Clayton, Panama once, with him living at the bottom of a big sweeping hill, one that was lined with wild, thickly growing birds of paradise on the edge of a beautiful jungle. He and his family moved out of their military housing and flew to Japan for his dad’s next assignment, just two months before mine moved in, just up that hill, onto Smith Street, a very bland name for a place that remains so beautiful and vivid in my mind—both for the tropical, concrete housing we lived in, three stories tall, with tile roofs, and gardens full of hibiscus and bananas, and also the towering trees filled with trumpet flowers where you could often see iguanas, sloths and toucans looking down.

Leaving there was one of life’s biggest heartbreaks for me. I still remember sitting on the plane, looking out the window, completely bereft over leaving and trying my hardest not to cry—because I was a teenager, and that would be the worst, to draw the attention of a bunch of strangers. Yes, I was upset to leave my friends, but most of them would be leaving soon as well, because we were all military kids, and that’s what happened. We all came and went, and then moved on to a different home eventually. No, it was really the place, Panama I didn’t want to leave.

Moving so often, we were limited with how much we could accumulate and take with us. Our mothers were experts at paring things down to just what we needed to set up a house in a new location, and have it still feel like home.

As I said, my husband is also an Army brat. While we aren’t in the service, we still seem to do this instinctively, purge out the unnecessary clutter of belongings we don’t need and just keep that which is useful and meaningful to us. Sometimes this can cause a little conflict between us, because I can be very sentimental about old things that belonged to people that I love, while he finds value more in…you know, machinery and tools and stuff. This means we often enter into negotiations about what stays and what goes. Most often, the negotiations are about the things I want to keep! Like that 40+ volume set of Readers Digest Condensed Novels that I had stored in boxes in the upstairs bedroom. I kept them because they came from my grandparents’ lake house, and that’s how I spent a couple of my teenage summers. My grandparents didn’t allow us to watch more than an hour of TV a day, so I read all those books, and I loved them. After my grandfather passed, and my grandmother was moving to a residential retirement home, the books were put out on the roadside for the trash truck to haul away, and I couldn’t let that happen. But yes…years later, I pulled out about eight of my favorites and donated the rest.

But there are some things I’ll never part with. I have them out where I see them every day, and they make home feel like home.
My great great grandmother’s ink well, still stained with ink. She’d probably be appalled that I write romance novels (or maybe not!), but isn’t this cool? I keep it on my kitchen windowsill, next to my collection of glass bluebirds (of happiness). Once, one of my kids actually perched an avocado on it, and I nearly had a heart attack that they were going to break it. But I don’t want to hide it away.

And of all things, my great great grandmother’s napkin holder. When I was little I remember this on my grandmother’s table at lunchtime, holding the napkins. Look at that funny rooster, and that bright paint. It makes me smile every time I see it. Also, in some way, it makes me feel connected to my family—those I know, and got to meet in my lifetime, and even those who passed on before I was born.

Oh, I’ve got a lot more! But what about you? If you had to pick up and move, and just take a few meaningful things with you to make the next place feel like home, what would you take with you? (Not including your favorite people!)

Danger Everywhere

It’s in the news again. Another investigation has resulted in charges against some 70 individuals allegedly involved in creating and distributing child pornography. That’s wonderful news—because those sick people have been caught. Thank you, THANK YOU, to those investigators for putting those monsters masquerading as humans away. But ugh…it’s also bad news because the lives of their child victims will never be the same. And once again, we’re reminded that child predators walk among us.

Do you read those articles? I do. I hate clicking on the link, and the details make me sick but I feel the need to read the details, and if possible, to see the faces of the guilty. As a mom, I feel like it’s something I have to do. I want to know who they are and how they got close to those poor kids they hurt so badly, so as a mom, I can do my best to make sure my child doesn’t ever become a victim. I want to see their faces because I know they won’t look like “perverts”, but they’ll look like “normal” people I see every day at the grocery store and at the swimming pool and the mall, and I want to remind myself of that.

When I was twelve, my Army dad got a new assignment and we moved to Central America. After a few weeks in the base Guest House, we finally got our quarters and moved in. I was upstairs, going into my new room to start unpacking boxes when one of the movers came out of another room. He picked me up off the ground in a sweaty embrace and gave me a big sloppy kiss right on the mouth. I wriggled free and hightailed it downstairs to where my mom was unpacking dishes in the kitchen, and stayed within two feet of her for the rest of the day, until the movers were gone. I didn’t tell her about that nasty old guy kissing me because I didn’t want anyone to make a big, unpleasant “deal” about it. I was so lucky. That’s all that happened. I feel so very fortunate that the adults in my past were trustworthy.

But I have friends whose childhood memories have horrible, dark shadows in them. Days and moments they’ll never forget because they were so traumatic. I don’t want my kids to ever have to suffer that. I have a 12 year old and a 16 year old, and we’ve had some very frank conversations that I hope will keep them safe every day, at school, at church activities, and anywhere else they may go. And if they have a problem I truly think they’ll tell me right away, unlike my twelve year old self who just kept quiet.

Still, as a parent, when it comes to my kids I tend to look at the world with a certain level of suspicion and mistrust. One example, my daughter has a good friend who lives down the street, but I don’t know the parents well. They’ve invited her to go to an uncle’s surprise birthday party this weekend—one of those all day and into the night parties where there will be swimming and food and fun. My first thought? Suspicion. A grown up uncle? So there will be adults there, in addition to kids? What if there’s a BAD PERSON there, in proximity to my daughter? I know my neighbors love their kids, but will they watch over mine as much as I would if I were there? So…I haven’t given an answer yet.

Am I wrong? Should I trust more? I don’t want to keep my kids from having fun and making great memories. Especially at this age, where they are both starting to enjoy some independence. How do we as parents let our kids enjoy the world and all it has to offer, while protecting them?

There’s a APP for THAT!

Are you a techie geek?

I’m not, really, but might have been in another life. I’m 44 years old, and saw my first computer when I was in the 9th grade at the Department of Defense Middle School in Curundu, Panama. The teachers brought in three full classes to crowd around one computer after which they executed a few simple DOS functions. I think we were all supposed to be amazed, but instead were underwhelmed, not realizing how much computers would evolve, and become an everyday part of our lives.

And then there are smart phones! My kids laugh at my big honkin’ Galaxy Note III “phablet” (phone + tablet). I’m a published author but I also work full time, and I use my phone to try and keep up with all the moving parts in my world. My husband has an iPhone, as do both of my teenagers. My mom used to write down a list of chores she wanted me to do before she got home from work. I text my kids theirs. Texting also serves as our dinner bell, to tell them to come home from their friends’ houses down the street because it’s time to EAT!

We’ve inevitably downloaded some “apps” from the applications store. We’ve got the funny PhotoBooth effects where the kids can take pictures of us and put mustaches and big eyebrows on our faces and snort and giggle in the orthodontist waiting room, and then, because we are Walking Dead fans, we’ve got another to transform the grandparents and cats into zombies. More recently, the kids have been having fun with an app called Smule AutoRap that turns anything they say into surprisingly great rap music. My first thought after hearing some of my son’s raps about chemistry and our pet cats was: it’s THAT easy?

As for me, my favorite new app is Evernote, which is just a really great personal note taking system. You can type in your notes, take pictures, or input voice recordings and even video and organize in all into subject notebooks (if you like). I keep story ideas here, interesting names I might want to use and revision reminders—because all the best story tweaks come to me when I’m occupied doing something completely unrelated to writing, and I don’t want to forget them later when I’m back in front of my manuscript. It’s perfect for compiling business receipts. Pictures of wine bottles so I’ll remember them later, and recipes I want to look at when I’m at the grocery store. The best thing is that you can sync with the same app on your computer, so it comes in handy at tax time for easily organizing your business expenses.

What about you? Do you have a smart phone and a favorite app that you can share with us? Or is phone technology not your thing?

Life’s “Anchors” in a Fast Moving World

Why good morning there!

Zeerrrp, hold it right there. Let’s get honest. We can say whatever we want on social media or here on the blog, and throw up whatever “front” we want. “I’m so happy! And exceedingly NORMAL! I’ve got it all TOGETHER!” 

In truth, it might not be such a good morning. It might just be an … okay morning. I do have coffee, so that’s a great start. But back to being honest — things have been uber loco for La Vida Loca Mom lately and you know me, I like order and structure and schedule. All those things are my comfort and my rock. Not to be overly dramatic, but lately, I feel like a lot of my rocks have gone tumbling down the mountainside.

For most of my life, I’ll admit, things have been charmed. No, I’m not wealthy, or a huge NYT bestseller and I don’t have the looks of a super model, but…life has always been really good for me and my family. We’ve been so blessed. And I’ve always felt SOOOOO in control. But I’m in my early 40s, and…things have started to change. For the past two months, there’s been a lot of change. Dear friends and family members have suffered life changing tragedies, and encountered frightening health issues. They say bad news comes in threes? We’re up to the tens at least, with all the associated ripple effects. Mind you, these aren’t MY tragedies or health issues, but you know how it is when those we love are hurting. You hurt too. Those new realities weigh on your mind, and you want to fix or at least help where you can. While all this is going on, it’s become very apparent that my kids are REALLY GROWING UP (cue the dramatic music, heavy on the violins!) and my son is getting a driver’s license and he’s being so independent and…starting to break away. I feel like in a blink, both he and my daughter will be grown up and gone and it’s all just happening too fast. On top of this, there are book deadlines and a full time job and all the other responsibilities that aren’t at all so complicated when life is easy and good. Yesterday I walked outside to see that my neighbors had apparently been foreclosed on, and had abandoned their house in the middle of the night, but not before making a huge destructive mess in their front yard (with a very interesting arrangement of Halloween plastic pumpkins), I guess to thumb their nose at the bank? I don’t want to know what the inside of the house looks like. That stayed in my mind all day. It unnerved me. I know that despite their anger, they must be upset and afraid.

Soooooo….you know, I’m experiencing completely normal stuff. Things that happen to everyone! Life changes. These things are just part of growing up. 

I know you know what I’m talking about, because you’ve been through big life changes too. Haven’t you?

So lately, I’ve been relying more and more on my “anchors” in order to feel like the world is still solid beneath my feet. Anchors are small things, really, that make home feel like home, and make my life feel like it’s still my life. Some of those things are:

1. I grew up eating dinner with the family, and that’s something I’ve continued in mine. Usually we eat on real dishes at the dining room table, but on really busy days, corn dogs on paper plates in the living room (while watching reruns of The Walking Dead) will do! Food is a comfort and brings people together, so even on the craziest of days I might take five minutes to mix up a box of brownies or (haha, remember Maisey’s post a couple of days ago?) throw some ingredients in the bread maker for homemade bread. Or put out olives, hummus and pita chips, if I’m feeling guilty about the brownies and the bread.

2. Good morning and good night kisses. It makes my day feel right to give everyone a hug or a kiss at the start and the end of each day.

3. Pets. We have two dogs, and two cats. They really are therapeutic! No matter what’s going on, they are waiting to say hello and that they love you. I’m having difficulty just getting this post typed up, because I’ve got Tango the Cat wrapped around one of my arms, trying to give me kisses. Aw!

4. Phone calls and texts to family members. These have really gone into overdrive lately. To my consternation, my Dad will never, ever get a cell phone, which makes him a man of mystery at times, and I think he likes this.

5. All I have to do, in order to feel lucky and blessed, is watch or read the daily news. After I see what’s going on in the world, I really have nothing to complain about.

6. My faith. Not to preach, but having a spiritual life really does help me keep things in a healthy perspective, and to find the wealth of blessings in every day life.

Just typing out that list had a calming effect! Despite everything that’s happened lately, I do have to say, life is good. It’s just changing.

So tell me, what are some of your “anchors” that you rely on to keep you grounded in changing times?