It’s pretty much a guarantee that if kids don’t know the answer to something, they’ll make up their own answer. Such has been the case with Baby Galen and weddings. My sister was actually married in Ethiopia about two years ago, but she and her husband are finally both in the United States, and she wants to have her dream American wedding. Baby Galen is a flower girl.
It has been a slow process to help my now four-year-old understand why people have weddings and what weddings mean, especially when she’s already calling my brother-in-law Uncle Dessie. It makes things more complicated when the people getting married are already married.
Anyway, she’s asked lots of questions and given me some of her own answers along the way. Her first question was whether or not Aunt Dani and Uncle Dessie would ride in a carriage, a la Cinderella. I said no, they would ride in a car. This clearly perplexed her and she must have thought I was mistaken because she asked me again and then said, why can’t they ride in a carriage? I told her they didn’t want to. She just laughed. “Oh, mommy, you’re just kidding!”
In her world, everyone wants to ride in a carriage.
Another day we happened to be driving past the hotel where the ceremony and reception will be held. I pointed it out, and she asked if she would be riding a bicycle down the aisle. I said, no. You’ll walk and gently toss your flower petals. “Will Aunt Dani ride a bicycle?”
“No.”
“Will Uncle Dessie ride a bicycle?”
“No. No bikes in the wedding.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Do I have to go to this wedding?”
Finally, I made her try on her dress one last time to be certain it still fit. She was unhappy that it was not blue, but she’s still a sucker for a pretty dress. Once she was done twirling around, she wanted to know where her veil was. I told her only brides wore the veils, and she said that she would borrow Aunt Dani’s. Ha! Aunt Dani’s veil isn’t cheap. I knew she wasn’t going to let a four-year-old anywhere near it.
Still, despite not having a carriage, any bicycles, or a veil, we all had a great time. And now my sister is doubly married!
//
peanut butter on the keyboard 
Just wait when she comes home to tell you she’s engaged! I’m dreading the day Ally loses her love for kisses and holding mommy’s hand.
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Maybe she never will, Katie. Some kids are always affectionate with mom and dad (except at the mall!).
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Oh! I hope you are right. But really this not sleeping in her room since we got out of the crib in June is driving me nuts. Her daddy is in Europe this week for work so I get mommy guilt (no sleep) and lots of crying when she doesn’t get her way.
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That hardly seems fair! You get mommy guilt, and he gets Europe. I wouldn’t feel too guilty. Now might be a good time to put your foot down on the sleeping in her own room.
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Yes. Poor baby. Italy of all places!
So last night I laid down with her and got up. It’s a start. As we speak she’s running around the house screaming her head off for daddy since I didn’t give her the clothes she wanted to wear today.
Kids!?!??!?!?!?!!!
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Baby steps. Kids don’t like big changes, right? Of course she wants Daddy. If eh was there, she’d want you!
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We had a similar experience this summer at my brother’s wedding since the girls were already calling my new SIL aunt. And the fact that we had to drive to TN when we all live here in TX – that was difficult to explain too. 🙂
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I can see why it would be confusing as to why you have to go to another location. We have so many traditions that are ingrained that we don’t think about them. I know even my brother-in-law, who is Ethiopian, was confused by some of what we did.
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Love the logic of a precocious little one. 🙂
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It is pretty entertaining at times, Lisa!
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Oh, the questions my girls came up with when they were little… especially the tricky ones as they got a little older. There was always a delicate balance of trying to answer their question in a way that would satisfy their curiosity, but maybe not open up a can of worms I wasn’t ready to deal with. Nor was I certain they would be either.
I’m remembering a specific homily our priest gave during the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Of course this had to be the homily during which my 4th grader chose to pay attention. 🙂
But no matter the age, the conversations you hold with your childrean are valuable–from the precocious childhood years, to the testing years of adolescence, to the dialogues you share during their college years when they’re finding their own way. You’ll treasure them all! At least, I do.
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Priscilla, I’m laughing at that one. I don’t know how I would handle that either. I have to say that one time my daughter was talking about when she was in my tummy before she was born. Then she got quiet and said, “Mommy, why did Daddy put me in your mouth?” Ugh! How to answer that in terms a 4-year-old can understand!
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