Robyn vents

Some days I wish I were just a mom, a regular stay-at-home-mom. Not that there really is such a thing. But the whole work-at-home-mom gets tedious. Like trying to balance everything is wearing me out and I feel pulled in so many directions. I thought that when Busybee started Kindergarten, things would get a bit easier, but the pick up situation at her school is overly complicated and takes forever. And then there’s helping her with “family projects” and homework – not that I mind spending time with her, I don’t, it’s actually pretty fun.

But I have my book deadlines, which the current one is really giving me fits, I’m running late, which I hate and would never have happened in pre-kid Robyn, but now it seems to be a fixture of my life – just goes to show that I still haven’t compensated enough time when picking said deadlines. In any case, then I decided to fulfill a life-long dream and take swimming lessons. The lessons themselves only take 30 minutes, but they’re at the university, which is not super close to my house and parking is obnoxious.

My house is never all picked up and tidy and clean at one time. It’s like I can manage one room a week and the rest of the house goes to hell. Needless to say I’m living in that Calgon commercial from so long ago, feeling overwhelmed and unsuccessful at everything.

Just seems like if I didn’t have my “job” (which, of course, I love) then I could just be a wife, mom and homemaker. It’s a wistful thought, not anything that will ever happen, nor anything I truly want to happen. But it’s nice to daydream sometimes about a simpler life. Any of y’all ever do that? Do you struggle to balance it all? What are your tricks to making everything run smoother? 

6 thoughts on “Robyn vents

  1. 1) Flylady.net will get you decluttered & organized 15 minutes at a time
    Less stuff is less aggravation. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it brings sanity to kids & elders, whichever you’re caring for (assuming it’s not both). You’re not depriving your family to restrict clothes and toys. You’re cutting down on overstimulation & too many choices for quick decision & clean ups.
    2) Be RUTHLESS about saying NO
    A subset of this is busywork assigned by schools in the guise of homework. Set your timer for 15 minutes so you can teach Busybee how to get things DONE & move on. Going through this with my godsons right now. Racing the timer gets anything they’re not struggling with done & into the backpack, freeing them to read (real learning!) & get active
    3) mom maintenance is NOT something you squeeze in after everything else. That swimming is as important as a doctor appointment & must be scheduled around. If you crash & burn, so does everything else.

    Finally (& I learned this from my doctor when caring for my parents) PERFECTIONISM WILL KILL YOU!!! Learn to stop when it’s good enough to get it done & move on.

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  2. Sometimes balance almost feels like a four-letter word to me! I try, I fail, I get overwhelmed, I take a deep breath, I try, I succeed, then the whole cycle starts over again.

    Beth I gave some FAB advice. I need to check out the declutter site. The others, I’ve used from time to time. It’s that “saying NO” that gets me. I like to feel needed, as if I’m making a positive difference in someone’s life. I like to help others.

    The thing is, sometimes helping others becomes the opposite of helping me.

    Balance is important. We all know that. But the balancing act– goodness, if working hard on balancing things was exercise/burned calories, I’d be in awesome shape!!

    If it’s any consolation, we all share in your pain. Venting to friends helps (love your blog title). Taking time for yourself is a must (LOVE that you’re taking swim lessons, keep going!)!

    Balancing tips? Hm, I’m a visual person, so I like to print out a calendar and put everything down– exercise time, work time, writing time, family time, me time, volunteer time. Yes, it’s on a calendar in my phone, but it gets lost in the apps. If I have something in my face, there’s less chance I’ll forget about it. 🙂

    And, I say the Serenity Prayer– a LOT! There’s much in life we can’t control. I’m working hard to let those things go. Note: it’s not the easiest thing to do, but it feels great when I’m successful.

    Hang in there. You’re an awesome mom. Awesome friend. Awesome writer. Awesome person!!

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  3. I used to think this all the time. I’m not sure when I stopped thinking it–maybe last year? But I know exactly what you’re talking about. You’re torn in so many directions, and since you don’t have an office or a set schedule, it’s so hard to focus on work. My only solution has been to get up early, which means I don’t get enough sleep. I can’t really recommend that. Like you, I am hoping PG starting Kindergarten will help.

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  4. I feel your pain Robyn. I really do and your post reminds me that we’re all living in a land of clutter and crazy, while trying to be super mom.
    As I type this I stare around my insanely messy bedroom and try to claim my inner crazy woman who wants to get rid of the clutter, put all the clothes away and more.
    Except we can’t. Because if we stop typing to clean then the typing doesn’t get done. If we try to do both something drops somewhere.

    Priorities are difficult, but the best thing I can say is “You’re doing a good job.” You are. You manage what you can and get things done when you can. You’re not oblivious to the tasks at hand, but you don’t have eight arms either.

    Luckily I’ve got older kids and they help out with some of the chores around the house to take a few things off my plate. It will get figured out at some point.

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