Potty Training Update and the Benefit of Comparing Yourself to Other Moms

Go ahead. Take a good look at the picture above (I chose the pixelated version because, well, I’d hate MY daughter to have a nekkid picture floating out there on the Internet). This was taken by another customer recently at a cafe. The mom of the girl above had brought in two portable potties for her twin daughters, sat them at the table, pulled down their jumpers, and put them on top of the potties while they ate.

Okay, two things run through my head first.

1) I just have loads and loads of sympathy for that poor mom!!! You KNOW she has to be sleep deprived out of her mind and so desperate to get out of the house while trying to keep on her potty training schedule that this actually sounded like a good idea.

2) I feel really sad for the girl whose picture was taken, because you KNOW that’s going to haunt her with future potential boyfriends. =)

And the third thing running through my head? “Gross!!! Who would think of doing that in a public restaurant where other people are trying to EAT?!?”

Nope, that’s not it. It’s actually: “Oh, thank goodness–I feel so much better about not having SuperGirl completely potty trained yet.”

I’ve always been a perfectionist and admittedly have wished she’d be potty trained by now, but the picture above gives me a little perspective.

Now I’m actually okay that she’s wearing underwear during the day at home, pull-ups at pre-school (yeah, the reason for that would have to be another blog post; let’s just say I was very embarrassed =), and wearing diapers at night.

In comparison, I’ve decided, it’s really not that bad. =)

What do you think of the picture above? Don’t you just want to give that mom a big ol’ HUG?

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I’m Elise Rome, AKA Midnight Mama because I’m usually burning the midnight oil. If SuperGirl (3, with a speech delay) and WonderGirl (1, my very own hip attachment) aren’t getting up in the middle of the night, then I’m busy working on writing and writing-related business until morning…usually 5 am or so. Both my husband and I stay home with the girls (he’s a writer, too! www.lukasholmes.com), but usually I’m focused on them throughout the day and only get started working until after 8pm when they’re both in bed. I’m a former Texan now living in Colorado who desperately misses no-snow winters, and my parenting goal is to raise my daughters to be strong, intelligent, and independent women…much like the heroines I write, as a matter of fact. I’m a recovering perfectionist, recovering procrastinator, and perpetually aspire to keep the house clean (because it never actually is). When I’m not chasing around my daughters or adoring my cooking/cleaning/diaper-changing husband of 8 years, I write historical romances about women who fascinate me and men who somehow always remind me of Rhett Butler, the first literary hero who captured my heart. www.eliserome.com

Gradual Changes

I’m the kind of person who does not like change. I don’t see why everything can’t just stay the same—except, of course, for the things I want to change. If only I were in charge of the world…

One difference between mothering an infant and a toddler/preschooler is that change becomes more gradual. With an infant, every day something is changing. With a preschooler, there are big changes, but they are slower.

Potty training. Big kid bed.

Sleeping and pooping. Throw eating in there and you have every mom’s 3 favorite (or least favorite) topics.

As with most aspects of motherhood, I went into potty training blindly (perhaps with a large dose of denial) and was under the impression using the potty was something with a sharp learning curve. Apparently not. Apparently, you can potty train for weeks and months and—please, no—years. It’s hard for someone without much patience, like me, to wait this change out. (No idea why Baby Galen doesn’t have the patience to sit on the potty for long enough to let something happen!). Especially when I told Baby Galen that I didn’t care when she was ready to potty train, but I did request that she actually be ready. None of this potty excitement one day and “no, no, no!” the next day. For a kid who can be way too decisive at times, she is remarkably indecisive at others.

I already see how this is going. She’s going to very, very slowly use the potty more often and then all by herself and then at some point in the near or distant future she will be potty-trained. It’s like watching a plant grow. It happens so slowly, you don’t even notice.

Except this plant has to be dressed and undressed and changed and have her butt wiped.

I feel a bit more in charge when it comes to the big kid bed (Please don’t laugh. I want to hold on to one last illusion). We have set the age at 3 for converting the crib to the toddler bed. We have told Baby Galen the change is coming. I am stocking up on supplies—like nightlights, clocks that are supposed to keep kids in bed, and books and toys for her to play with when she, inevitably, gets out of bed. I don’t know what to do when she realizes that we don’t actually all go to sleep when she does.

What other changes are coming—or will I be blissfully change-free for a few years?

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Shana Galen, Multitasker Mama
I’m Shana Galen, AKA Multitasker Mama (and aren’t we all?). I’m a wife, mom to a two-year-old daughter I call Baby Galen. My parenting motto is, “Keep moving. Don’t pass out. Don’t throw up.” Or maybe that’s my fitness motto? www.shanagalen.com

Potty Training: Do or Die

This is it! Soon! It’s gonna happen!

I feel like I’ve done pretty much everything to try to potty train SuperGirl (now 3). We began in January with the potty training, because she was finally to the point where we felt her communication skills were good enough, and she was interested in the potty, and we were, well…just optimistic, I guess. And it went so well! …For a little while. SuperGirl was going potty ON the potty, she was getting to wear her cool new underwear, she was telling us when she needed to go before she actually went… And then it just all stopped. I don’t know what triggered it, but something happened to where she absolutely refused to go anywhere near the potty.

Things we did to get to the first (happy) stage:

1) We read a potty book.

2) We were there for potty support (i.e. going to the bathroom at the same time. What? Other moms don’t do this?).

3) We did the potty dance (which consists of shaking your booty as you turn in a circle and saying “Yay, SuperGirl went potty!”).

4) We gave her a sticker (she LOVES stickers) every time she went potty so she could put it on her potty chart.

5) We were immensely enthusiastic with our praise whenever she went potty (Olympic gold medal winners receive less praise, I’m sure) and tried to be encouraging when she, erm, didn’t make it to the potty on time.

6) We went and sat at the potty at regular intervals, so even if she didn’t have to go, she would still have the routine and the reminder.

We did all of that–and it worked! We were so thrilled. (“I don’t know what so-and-so were talking about, this is much easier than I thought it would be. Aren’t we lucky that our kid did this faster than theirs? I would never resort to bribing my kid with toys (because stickers don’t count as bribes, right?) and our kid is just super smart and awesome and talented for going potty.”) As fellow PBK mom Maisey would say, HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, the joke’s on us.

When she regressed, nothing worked. Next we tried courting her with the potty and the “subtle” reminders whenever we changed her diaper. “Do we go poopoo or peepee in our diaper? Noooooo, we go poopoo and peepee in the potty.” (She always has the right answer!)

The last tip I’ve heard recently is to tell your toddler “your peepee and poopoo want to make friends with the potty and won’t you help them get there”? (An aside: Truly, did you EVER think we would talk this way when we became parents?) I admit I keep forgetting to try this one, but I have no problem at all saying it if it means she’ll start going potty again.

I should mention that WonderGirl is also very interested in the potty now with all the talking we’ve been doing and so while we’ve been focusing on SuperGirl, WonderGirl (now 19 months) is getting the benefit of our attempted potty training techniques, too.

Which brings me, at last, to the second part of the title for this blog post today: Do or Die. That’s right, folks, it’s about to get all kinds of extreme in the Rome household. Combining the knowledge that SuperGirl was *so close* to being potty trained before and definitely knows what to do, the obvious understanding they both have of the potty and the interest in the potty routine (I’ve never seen someone get so excited about flushing), and the ridiculousness (and expense!! and yes, I know cloth diapering is less expensive; another of my mommy failures, I suppose) of having two toddlers in diapers with one wearing a size 5 and the other wearing a size 4, we’ve decided to pick a date when, from now on, SuperGirl and WonderGirl will be…wait for it… DIAPER FREE!!!

Yes, except for car rides (for now) and bedtime, they will no longer be allowed to wear diapers. I read about this extreme path to potty training on BabyCenter one time, and several people swore that it worked, but I never thought we’d need to do it. I admit, I’m a little terrified. A little daunted by the thought of my furniture starting to smell like pee and all of my towels used to mop up pee (I don’t even want to think about the poop), but if this really works…and it has to work, right?…then I can think of no greater improvement in our parenting quality of life right now than having both girls potty trained. I can just imagine myself when that day finally comes…

And so we will move forward, with that end in mind. The date we’ve chosen is July 5th. I suppose it’s apt, since the day before is Independence Day. July 5th will be our Diaper Independence Day. =)

Have you had the joy of potty training your child yet? Are you currently working on it? If you have kids and adult kids who are potty trained, congratulations–I’m in awe of you. =) And, um, any tips you care to share?

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I’m Elise Rome, AKA Midnight Mama because I’m usually burning the midnight oil. If SuperGirl (3, with a speech delay) and WonderGirl (1, my very own hip attachment) aren’t getting up in the middle of the night, then I’m busy working on writing and writing-related business until morning…usually 5 am or so. Both my husband and I stay home with the girls (he’s a writer, too! www.lukasholmes.com), but usually I’m focused on them throughout the day and only get started working until after 8pm when they’re both in bed. I’m a former Texan now living in Colorado who desperately misses no-snow winters, and my parenting goal is to raise my daughters to be strong, intelligent, and independent women…much like the heroines I write, as a matter of fact. I’m a recovering perfectionist, recovering procrastinator, and perpetually aspire to keep the house clean (because it never actually is). When I’m not chasing around my daughters or adoring my cooking/cleaning/diaper-changing husband of 8 years, I write historical romances about women who fascinate me and men who somehow always remind me of Rhett Butler, the first literary hero who captured my heart. www.eliserome.com