There is no more dangerous place for a mother than in a novel. There, a writer can vilify and eviscerate all under the guise of fiction. Think of famous fictional mothers — Mrs. Bennett from Pride and Prejudice, Gertrude Morel from Sons and Lovers, Queen Gertrude from Hamlet. These are some of fictions’ most horrid mothers.
But I find, more often, mothers in fiction are absent. I see this in my own novels. In most of my novels, the heroine’s mother is either a pest or deceased. The heroine must avoid the mother or find her own way in life.
I’ve noticed this pattern in my novels before, and I’ve tried to figure out the reasons behind it. I love my mom and rely on her advice. And that’s why I have to get rid of fictional mothers or make them useless. If I want my characters to have to deal with conflict the mother must either be part of the conflict or out of the way, so the heroine is all but alone.
In my most recent release, When You Give a Duke a Diamond, the heroine’s mother perpetrated the unpardonable sin of not taking her daughter’s side. When Juliette’s father dies and Juliette makes a poor decision, Juliette’s brother refuses to come to her aid. Her mother does not contradict the brother and leaves Juliette to fend for herself. This is not entirely true. Juliette’s mother arranges a meeting with a woman who will become Juliette’s mentor, but it is the very least she can do, and it is pure happenstance that this other woman steps in and saves Juliette from what is certain to become a life on the streets.
Have there been any mothers in fiction—movies, TV, or books—that have struck a chord with you? I always liked Marmee from Little Women and Ma from Little House on the Prairie.
One person who comments will be randomly selected to win a copy of When You Give a Duke a Diamond.
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Shana Galen, Multitasker Mama
I’m Shana G
alen, AKA Multitasker Mama (and aren’t we all?). I’m a wife, mom to a two-year-old daughter I call Baby Galen. My parenting motto is, “Keep moving. Don’t pass out. Don’t throw up.” Or maybe that’s my fitness motto? www.shanagalen.com
Oooo, I love this topic!!! I’ve noticed a lot of absent mothers in fiction, too. Disney movies are often that way as well. In my current manuscript, the mother is weak and ineffectual, and my heroine makes a lot of her personal decisions partly in response to this status of her mom’s.
Some of my heroines have lost their mothers.
I know that from a time a girl is young–I mean, *really* young–she is trying to form an identity separate from her mother. Just look at the three- or four-year-old girl who doesn’t want to wear what Mommy pulls out of the closet for her. And as much as we love our mothers, I don’t think it ever stops–I honestly think it’s the nature of women to want to metaphorically and literally rule the roost!!!
So fictional mothers can interfere with an author’s attempts to establish a character as the proactive center of the novel.
I can’t wait to read IF YOU GIVE A DUKE A DIAMOND!!!
Again, great topic. :>)
Oh, I have always loved Little Women’s Marmee – and Little House on the Prairie’s Ma was cool, too. Also, one of my first “favorite mothers” was Scarlett O’Hara’s mother in Gone With the Wind…just so classy! It was always nice to find these kinds of women, especially since I was – and still am – a fan of Nancy Drew and The Dana Girls, where there were no mothers, only surrogage moms.
Felicia, that’s true. I forgot Ellen O’Hara. Poor Scarlet wanted so much to be like her mother and it was just never going to happen.
Kieran, what’s this you say about 3-year-old girls? They don’t want to do what mommy tells them? Nooooo. That can’t be right. I haven’t encountered that at all! I completely agree, though, that for a heroine to come into her own, she has to step away from her mother. It makes it too easy for her if mom is waiting on the sidelines to make it all okay again.
Ah … the clothes thing. (and also, ARGH! the clothes thing!)
My daughter and I fight over the clothes thing all the time. I mean, we used to. The problem is, if she had her way, she’d always dress like a Vegas drag queen. I don’t even know that I’d have a problem with that, just so long as she was decently covered and warmly dressed. Thank goodness we live in Texas where it’s hot nine months of the year. The few months we get of cold weather are hell!
I guess when I think of the books and movies I have enjoyed, the one mother that really stands out and was there teaching her daughter how to live was someone who was not really her mother but someone who adopted her. Iza, found Ayla, and taught her so much. Though Iza was Neanderthal, and Ayla was human, the bond was still there. Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel was a great series and showed that motherly love was there, even if you are not related.
Ti, I love the Clan of the Cave Bear series, except the last book. That book upset me. But you’re right about Iza. Ayla never forgot all she’d been taught by Iza, and it’s interesting how important a figure she was to Ayla, even though this was prehistoric times.
The last book upset me as well. It just did not feel like Jean’s writing.
Exactly! Jondalar was cheating on Ayla? She was having sex with other guys during the fertility ceremony? What was all that? I read it like a year ago, and I still think about it and am bothered.
I admit I feel the same way you do. BUT we do have to remember, we are the product of our Victorian ancestors who went overboard with the modesty and virginal type values. Who is to say, 3,000 plus years ago, sexual relations were vastly different amongst our forefathers. That having nooky with many was the norm and being monogamous was abnormal!?!
Ti, you’re right, but Auel isn’t writing for the cave woman readers. I don’t want that much reality!
Monster-in-law was the first thing that came to mind when thinking of horrible mothers. I think I liked Jane Fonda’s character so much because everything she did was because she didn’t want to lose her son, which made her redeemable to me.
I love moms from the Bridgerton series by Julia Quinn and the Argeneau Vampire series by Lynsay Sands.
That’s true, Ora. The mom in JQ’s Bridgerton series (Violet? what was her name?) is a great example. I have read a couple of the Argeneau books, but I don’t remember them well enough to comment on the mother. Oh, and mother’s-in-law are a whole other topic!
Mmm, never really thought about mothers to heroine and heroes in books. Mainly they are absentee or “passed on”. Though what does come to mind is Lady Bridgerton from Julia Quinn and the mother from Kantra’s Carolina Home.
Raonaid at gmail dot com
Raonaid, you are the second person to mention the mom in the Bridgerton series. I can’t believe I forgot her. She’s a great example of a good mom.
I always liked the grandmother & mother on the Waltons. At age 3, kids want some control — give them choices of clothing…
Cate, the Waltons was a sweet show. Yes, I’m all for choice of clothing at age 3. You must choose your battles.
Great question! There are so many terrible ones. I adored Marilla Cuthbert from Anne of Green Gables.
Of course! I forgot about her too. I just gave a friend’s daughter that book. What a great fictional mom.
Violet of The Bridgerton series (Julia Quinn) is a lovely mother. Her kids just sneak around her and mess up. She’s always there for advice, love and encouragement for her kids.
Violet! Thank you, Tammy. I thought it was Violet. Poor Violet. Those kids are always sneaking around–but she always knows about it!
I loved Marmee from Little Women — and I loved that it was Susan Sarandon who portrayed her in one of the most recent (1994) movie adaptation.
I also love Lady Cora from Downton Abbey — and still abide by her advice: Things will look better in the morning. ^_^
Lastly, Madge Arwell from the Doctor Who Christmas Special. She shows what a mother is capable of when the safety of her children are at stake. (She kicks ass.) ^_^
I haven’t seen the recent Dr. Who, but I liked Sarandon in Little Women as well, Tin. And Lady Cora is great. If the earl had kept on with his dalliance with that maid, I was going to really be upset. No cheating on Cora!
That particular Doctor Who episode is a must watch! It’s their take on The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. ^_^
This was a wonderful topic! I’ve enjoyed reading the other responses. ^_^
Tin, you had me with Narnia. I’m going to search for it…
I too, like Violet from the Bridgertons.
She’s a great example. I should look back at some of those books, Deanna, and see how JQ does it. I can’t seem to write a nice mom.
I liked the mother and grandmother on The Waltons. They were down to earth and wise women.
That really is a very sweet show, Connie. They were strong women and kind too.
Me too, love Violet from The Bridgertone
Eli, great example. We were all rooting for her to get her own HEA, too.
Hi Shana! Great topic, and I agree with you. I think it’s easier to add conflict to the heroine’s background or present if the mother is bad or absent–whether in books or movies. With that being said, I too adore Violet from the Bridgerton series for not only being present, but for being such a strong character throughout the series. I honestly think one of the reasons why that series is loved so much is because of her character.
And I didn’t even think of her, Elise. I need to go back and see how JQ made that work.
Fantastic Topic and one close to my heart… (Think evil stepmother from Cinderella). I loved Little House on the Praire. It was one of the few things I would actually sit and watch everytime it was on.
Little House comes on daily, here in England!
I hope you’re not the evil stepmother, smartmouthtexan. That’s a hard place to be in.
Hmmm…. The Bridgertons have a wonderful mother as a lot of people have said. Can’t think of anyone else though…
Yes, Violet was a great mother. I can’t believe I forgot to mention her.
I think the mothers that strike most of a chord with me are ones in comedies. I love when people take things lightheartedly, since it’s so different from how my own mother was (very strict; even in high school I couldn’t purchase CDs that weren’t edited for foul language). I loved Kitty Forman in That 70s Show. She was so nurturing and always so happy. Her personality just worked so well in contrast to her husband’s and when looking at her son’s behavior. Reminds me of my boyfriend’s mother now that I think about it
As far as TV, I always kind of liked Claire on The Cosby Show. She was tough but loving.
The mom from Pride and Prejudice.
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Oh yes! Mrs. Bennett is a piece of work!
I think that my favorite mom is Marmee from Little Women. I have read that book so many times and I love it more each time I read it.
Yes, Sheryl, Marmee is a great mom. I know when I read it when I was younger I always wanted Marmee for my mom.
Edith Bunker from “All In The Family”.
xoxo
The Clarences
http://www.theclarences.com
The Clarences, I used to watch that show when i was young and didn’t get it at all. Now when I see old episodes, it’s so funny!