I’m so thrilled to welcome Marquita Valentine to Peanut Butter on the Keyboard today! A fellow romance author, I had the pleasure of meeting Marquita at the RWA conference in 2011 and the equal pleasure of reading parts of her work before it was published. Today, Marquita shares school insights–something which really resonated with me as SuperGirl just started pre-K yesterday. Welcome, Marquita!!
A Different Sort of Firsts
This summer has been a bittersweet one as a parent. My baby boy started Kindergarten and my daughter started third grade at the end of July (we have year round school). Two very definable moments, since Kindergarten is the start of a child’s school career and third grade is the beginning of the dreaded End of Grade tests.
Silly kids and mommy
I wasn’t sure how I’d feel with the house empty. I mean, I knew I’d be excited about all of the extra time I’d have to write, volunteer and basically get things done. And I’d already done the whole mai-babeh’s-in-the-Kindergarten routine with the first one. Confession: It wasn’t pretty. So, this time I’d be calm and collected and so cool. I wouldn’t be like the other moms, weeping at the door and pressing their noses against the windows as they tried to get one last look at their babeh. Nope, not me.
Ready to get to class! …And waiting on her brother.
Yeah right. My husband had barely gotten the picture of my babeh with his teacher (also my daughter’s former teacher, yay!) before I started tearing up. Then that sneaky little educator had to give me a flippin’ poem, and I, in all my over-confident experience, read it. Commence blubbering and sobs while I walked down the longest hall in existence.
I can’t stop picturing him like this.
Still, it wasn’t until I was in the truck with my husband that it hit both of us: This was the last time we would be doing this. Not only that, but this was the end of an era. Slowly but surely baby things were being given away. Things like cups, plates, clothes, toys and DVDs that my kids no longer wanted to use because they are GROWED UP. Sigh.
Maybe that’s why there’s a toddler (niece of the heroine) in my debut, Twice Tempted and a five month old in the sequel, Third Time’s a Charm. Apparently, I don’t want to give that time up!
Then the most wonderful thing evah happened. My barely 5 year old came home from school and read a book to me, all by himself. I cried and laughed. I gave him a high five and asked him to read it again so I could video it with my phone all the while thinking: My son read a book with complete sentences to me!
Who cares about no more baby stuff, my boy can read just like his big sister!!!
So I want to know, Peanut Butter on the Keyboard readers, what firsts have you experienced lately?
Marquita Valentine writes small town romances that are anything but small. Lisa Kleypas, Carly Phillips and Rachel Gibson are among her favorite contemporary authors. Marquita met her husband aka Hot Builder at Sonic when they were in high school. She suggests this location to all of her single friends in search of a good man — and if that doesn’t work, they can console themselves with cheesy tatertots. She lives in North Carolina in a very, very small town with Hot Builder and their two children.
Available now (http://www.amazon.com/Twice-Tempted-Holland-Springs-ebook/dp/B008IW5UZC/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1345944980&sr=8-3&keywords=Twice+Tempted )
Coming in September
(http://marquitavalentine.blogspot.com/p/third-times-charm-book-2.html )
You can find Marquita all over the internet:
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15730301-twice-tempted
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMarquitaValentine
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/marquitaval
I’m in a little bit of an odd situation with my daughter (9 years old). She lives in California with her father while I live in TX. She started 4th grade on Wednesday, and all I can think is where has the time gone. She moved to CA when she was 4 y.o., so I never got to experience taking her to school for the first time. Luckily, I talk to her often and make a point of asking her what she learned in school each week. My sister also has a 9 and 13 year old, and they live in the same town as me. I spend a lot of time with their family. So in a way I do get to experience the back to school experience. I just wish it was with my daughter. So hang in there! You can do it!
That’s great that you get to talk to her so often, Patti.
And how wonderful that your sister lives so close and you’re able to share in those experiences, no matter how bittersweet.
And thank you! So far, so good.
I’ve been through 7 first days and 5 last days. Still gets me emotional. Don’t know what I’ll do when No.7 graduates. Probably wont be pretty.
Fiona, my mother-in-law is the same way. She said she cried with all four of her kids: kindergarten, first day of middle school, high school and college. Talk about ripping your heart out over and over-and you have 7! Wow. I’d be a puddle of tears by now.
And now it begins with the grand babies. I look at those sweet faces and the little hands that tell me I have “rips”;, that want their backs scratched until my hand falls off. Well hand, off you go!
The second generation is a mirror of the 1st. I smile everyday for the blessings of those (both generations) wonderful people!
Aww, this post brought tears to my eyes. My first baby is 11 weeks old today and yesterday was the first time I left him with the nanny for 3 hours so that I could get some writing done. It was so difficult! I really wanted to run down to check on him, but then decided that if I was going to be away from him for 3 full hours, I was going to make it worth it. I somehow managed 5 new pages – the first new pages in months. And man, it was so nice to see that baby smile at me when I picked him up at 4. I can’t even imagine what it will feel like to drop him off at Kindergarten.
Oh Sarra, I didn’t mean to make you cry! I am so proud of you for taking that first step. It’s so, so hard. I remember leaving my oldest for the first time to go back to teaching. Good thing it was a workday, because I was worthless the entire day.
Aren’t those yay-mommy’s-back-smiles the best? Congrats for getting five new pages done!
Marquita, you have absolutely CHARMED me with this post! I loved it!!! Your kids are adorable, and so are you. I hope you’re a native North Carolinian, so I can brag on you and say, “See how those North Carolinians are so plucky and fun?”
My husband’s from NC, and we love the Tar Heel state.
What I loved about this post is that you reinforce the happy truth that while one delicious childhood phase–and family era–disappears, another comes to take its place and brings its own new blessings.
Enjoy every moment. I love that it seems that you are. Yay!!! This was a celebratory post in so many ways.
Thanks for adding a smile to my day–and a recollection of my own precious memories as a mom of little ones. My youngest is in 9th grade now, and I remember like it was yesterday dropping him off with Mrs. Patterson in kindergarten.
:>)
Thank you so much, Keiran! You’ll be happy to know (and able to to brag) that I am indeed a native North Carolinian. Grew up near the coast and have never lived in any other state. My husband’s a native too, but he traveled and lived in a number of states growing up, including Edisto Island, SC.
Let me tell you, I had to find a bright spot about the end of an era. In fact I was determined to do so! And what a blessing to have my youngest read to me a week before I wrote this post.
Awww, you’ll soon have more new firsts with prom, high school graduation, college…I’ll stop there, because now I’m getting all sniffly thinking about that for you.
Thank you!! I’ve got two in college now, so we have been through some huge firsts the past several years. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was let my children go. That phase between high school and college was filled with so many private tears for me–shed in my bathroom, LOL, and sometimes unexpectedly elsewhere (often during private time with my husband, too).
My children were aware that it was tough for me, but around them I tried to focus on the amazing success stories they were becoming…they were going to college and growing up. I had to look at it from their perspectives. What they were doing was tremendously exciting for them. And that reminded ME to be excited! I couldn’t wallow in what I was going to be lacking. I had to think about how awesome it would be for them to spread their wings, prove themselves, and use all those lessons they’d learned. And it has gotten easier. It’s a miracle, really, how resilient human beings are, especially mothers. We can adjust to anything if we have patience and hope.
Thanks again for a truly lovely post!!!
My firsts this year is Homeschooling my 7th grader and the 3rd grader taking EOG tests for the first time. It will be interesting to see how my youngest does, he is very different than the oldest in terms of school work.
Beth, I totally applaud you for homeschooling. That is something, despite being a former educator, that I can NOT envision myself ever doing. So good on you for meeting your child’s needs that way.
And I hear you about EOGs. UGH! I wish your youngest and your oldest much success in their new ventures!
My children are grown and I’m a grandmother so the “firsts” are in the past. I had to chuckle when my son and daughter-in-law were groaning that the first day of school is coming and now the day will start really early and things will be hectic. Now that we’re retired, my husband and I don’t have those pressures anymore. When we get up, it’s to enjoy our coffee and have a relaxing start to the day. But do savor those firsts with your little ones, Moms, because they do grow up and you realize that you have only been blessed with in your home for a short time.
I bet you did chuckle, Connie. My mom and mother-in-law probably do the same when they hear me and my husband talking about school stuff and extra-curricular activities.
It’s awesome being the grandparent, or so I hear from our kids’ grandparents. All the fun, none of the fuss and you get to send them home. LOL!
Every day is a first around here. My daughter says new things and does things all by herself–picking out clothes, brushing her teeth, using the potty (sometimes). I love, love, love watching her grow up and experience these firsts. I really don’t think I’ll cry when she starts Kindergarten. I’ll probably go home and take a nap.
Those are great firsts, Shana. I loved it when my kids starting showing signs of their independence. Although I admit babying my youngest a bit longer than my oldest, because I knew he’d be the last. :}
Taking a nap is a great plan for the first day of school.
Hi Marquita.
LOVE the post. My son is at that age when firsts happen all at once and then nothing for a long time. (He just turned three.) We experienced a first a few months ago when he went from climbing the side of his crib (eeek!) to getting a toddler bed, which lasted about two weeks. The husband and I were watching a movie about 11 pm one night when the baby monitor came to life after three hours of quiet. We heard scraping noises and giggling. So we hit pause and went upstairs. Our little climber had taken the mattress off his bed, turned the bed frame on end and propped it on the wall like a ladder. He was near the top, grinning. He finished the night in his pack n’ play and the next morning, we hauled the futon frame out of the basement. Our tiny son now sleeps on a queen sized (way to heavy to move) futon. It would fit five of him and he loves it.
Oh my gosh, lj! That is too funny. What a little engineer in the making you have or the next Houdini.
And good for you guys for coming up with a solution. Although if he manages to move that, please put it up on You Tube. You’d get a bazillion hits. LOL!
um, how bad is it that YOUR story made me cry? kendal will start next year. i dread it!
Big hugs, Analee. I can’t believe Kendal will start next year!!! Time flies like crazy!
Hi Marquita!
I’ve had a first recently — all of my kids have flown the coop! They’re all off at college now. I was so looking forward to this day, you have no idea. When my oldest was 18 mos I had boy/girl twins and my life has been like a hurricane passing through it ever since. But now that they’re all gone, I just feel kindof . . . empty. The house is too quiet. ;( This week has been easier. Probably because I know they’re coming home this weekend bringing with them all the energy and excitement I’m used to! I’m sure I’ll adjust, it’s just been a bit harder than I expected.
I didn’t know your twins were that close in age to your oldest, Cynthia! Wow were you ever busy. I don’t know how you accomplished so much in your personal life and writing career! Congrats for getting them off to college, even if you do miss them.
You are my first. I remember the day that I met you. I went home and told my mom that I was going to marry you. She thought it was just dumb puppy love. It was puppy love for sure because you could make me sit up and beg! Ever since that day I have been hooked and can’t stop thinking about you. Seeing the post about our two kids makes it hard to believe that two teenage kids made it this far. I love you very much.
Okay, so you are making me cry with your talk of first love and our kids. :} (and giggle a little at your name) We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we? I am so very glad and blessed that I’ve spent the more than half my life with you. xoxoxo
BTW everyone, he did *not* tell me about informing his mom of his intentions until we were married for about six years and that was twelve years after we first met!
Sooooooo sweet!! You’all are making me cry, too!! ;D
The Clarences love & support Peanut Butter On The Keyboard!
Marquita,
*Looks left and right* Shhhh. This isn’t common knowledge and I’ll deny it if confronted, but I do miss my kids during the day. Sometimes. Like only the days that end in Y. Ahem. ;} And yet, I’m so grateful for the quiet time. It’s a tough balance for us mommies. Sweet post, girl.
Andris, I *knew* you were a big softy!!! But I’ll keep it to myself.
And preach it. You need the quiet time, yet feel guilty for doing so, even if it makes you a better, nice mommy. *sigh* :}
I don’t know which is more heartbreaking–having your kiddos get old enough to go to school full-time, or getting rid of all the baby/toddler accoutrements. I didn’t cry yesterday when we took SuperGirl to pre-school, but I have the feeling I’ll likely cry whenever we get rid of all those accoutrements in the future. Congratulations on your “firsts”, Marquita–including your recently published first book! =)
Elise, you were so brave! Honestly, it’s a toss up. When we finally took down the crib…omgosh. All those sets of toothprints (teethprints?) on the rails, the little smudge marks on the white paint. :{ I’m getting all teary thinking about it. I wanted to take that crib and freeze it in time or put it under a glass dome.
Thank you.:D That was a big first for the all growed up (as my kids would say) me! Thanks for having me! xoxo
Ack! My 4 year old starts Kindergarten next year, and he just went to preschool for the first time last Tuesday. Although he has only been three times now, he just told me today to “just open the door” of the car…he didn’t want me to walk him in!!! Wahh!
I loved your debut, as I have told you, and can’t wait for the next one…
I feel your pain, Olivia. My baby told me on the second day that he wanted his sister to walk him to his class. *gulp* It’s always harder for us than it is for them.
Thank you, m’dear! I can’t wait for the world to read about your Russian!
I’ve been trying to get here all day to post a response. I read your great blog this morning, but then kids and business stuff crept in and well, I didn’t get a chance until now. But thank you, Marquita, for joining us today and for sharing such a lovely story about your kiddos. I got all teary thinking about your sweet boy reading you a book. You’ve certainly done a great job, Mama, on that one!
As for firsts for me…wow, this whole motherhood thing has been one adventure after another. It’s interesting, when you adopt kids in the situation I did (2 at once, but different ages) you get lots of firsts in different spectrums. Last summer I was potty-training one while the other one was learning to walk – talk about an adventure. This summer it’s been the two of them learning how to play together, instead of just next to each other. Challenging, but rewarding all at the same time.
Thanks again for joining us.
Oh wow, Robyn! That is a challenge. I know you were busy, busy!
It’s so neat (for lack of a better word) to watch them go from stage to stage. I guess that’s why my baby boy reading to me for the first time really got to me, besides the obvious reasons. 
Kids are amazing, frustrating and lovable little people. Once they’re in your life, you can’t imagine your life without them-even if it’s them popping by when they are older.
Thanks for having me! xo
Hi Marquita. Thanks for blogging with us! Welcome to Peanut Butter on the Keyboard!
Your post hit me in my soft gooey spot. Next year, that will be me. Oldest in third, youngest starting kinder. I know I’ll be a wreck. I was a wreck this year just knowing that next year was coming.
Hi Emily!
Thanks for having me.
I would say that the anticipation is actually worse that the event, but I’d be lying. :} But with lots of support from other moms, like your fellow PBKeyboarders, you’ll get through it with flying colors. 