There have been a few times in my life that people have looked at me like I was insane. Okay, more than a few. I remember when I was pregnant with my second child and people would ask me, “How old is your oldest?” My reply of “He’s one.” was often met with a slack jawed stare and the question, “Was this one an accident?” My very confident. “No, we were trying to have him.” Was usually replied to with. “Are you nuts?” (would that I were making this up.)
Well, this happened to me again recently. “We’re going on a family vacation!” And the reply is of course. “What are you doing?” “Disneyland for four days!” And yes, I got that look again. Or a verbal, are you nuts!?
The Yates babies are currently 6, 4 and 2. Throw special needs into that mix and anywhere we go is nothing short of an epic production. In Target yesterday we were most certainly the center of attention, and that was not our intent. At least, it wasn’t mine.
So yes, taking them to Disneyland for four days, for our first family vacation was…maybe a little ambitious. But I am SO GLAD WE WENT.
I was talking to Danger’s therapists just before school let out, and I was telling them we planned on taking a Disney trip. I expected them to ask me if I was crazy. Disney is noise, and sounds (loud sounds!) and there’s no routine, and it’s basically just plain crazy. What I didn’t expect was for them to say…good.
But they did. They told me it might even be good for him to experience something totally different. And, my friends, it was. All of the kids loved it. Probably no one had more fun than Drama, the six year old. But Danger is the one who needed it most.
There was something about him being in that new environment. I found out things about him. Things he could do that I never would have imagined he could. Things he liked that I wouldn’t have imagined he would like.
Danger loves roller coasters, it turns out. He’s less thrilled about animatronic pirates, even when one favors Johnny Depp. He also FINALLY went in the potty while we were at Disney and now I know he understands when I tell him to do it at home! (I’m sure he didn’t mean to betray this bit of information, but he did!) My husband took him into the bathroom and he said, “you can go back to the roller coaster after you go potty.” Uh, yeah, guess what he did effortlessly a few moments later?
And we could see the fireworks from our hotel room. And it was the coolest thing. My oldest and youngest were ooohing and ahing and Danger said “FIREWORKS!” Yep. And then he oohed and ahed with the rest of the kids. There’s a point to all this, other than just to say we had a blast and my kids are adorable.
If we listened to other people, we might not have gone. If we would have let all the what-ifs stop us, we wouldn’t have gone. But we took a chance. And I’m glad we did.
One of the things I noticed about Disney was how many families with handicapped family members were there. And they were having fun. It’s easy to think, at least it was for me, that your life will be limited by having a special needs member in your family. And yes, there are those who have children with more severe handicaps than I have, and yes, there are limitations that can’t be helped, but in this case, it didn’t prove true for me.
A few years ago I might have said, oh, we won’t get to do family vacations like a normal family. But we did. And it was all the sweeter because of our Danger. I’m glad we went. I’m glad we pushed him, and us outside of our comfort zone. It was totally worth it.
Do you have any family vacations stories? Good or bad?
We went to Disney several years ago and had a great time. Yes, it is busy and noisy, but my ADHD son (then 7), did amazingly well. At the time, he was having some serious behaviourial issues and we had very few problems – there were lots of different activities to keep him busy. Even though he is normally not keen on walking, he walked every park at least once, over the course of 7 days, without complaining. I had spent a fair amount of time before hand organizing the trip, which helped in terms of ensuring we weren’t just wandering around, nor waiting in long line ups. We allowed him to use his Nintendo during meal times, which made the time more pleasant for everyone. We discovered that we all love Cirque du Soleil and have seen them several times since then. We all have good memories of that trip.
SJ,
My oldest son has ADHD and he did really well at the park too. And with him, I never know as he’s very emotional, but he did well. And we did the iPod touch at meals for a little sanity, plus I think he needed the help winding down!
Oh, I wish I had met the Yates children when I was in Anaheim!! I’m so glad y’all had such a fabulous time!!!
Our family didn’t get to Disneyworld until our kids were 16, 15, and 10. Our oldest, the one with Aspergers, doesn’t like rollercoasters, but he was fine with walking through the lines with us and then leaving and waiting for us near the entrance. We had a wonderful time. He liked going on the ride where you’re in a raft, and at the end, you have a steep drop and you get splashed. I loved that one, too!
My family hasn’t gone on a lot of glitzy fun vacations…we never had the money. We decided one of us would always be at home and we’d suck it up, whatever the financial sacrifice. So we’d go to our relatives’ houses when we we had time off, just like our parents did with us when we were kids. It was always fun to visit Grandma and Grandpa, who are from NC but lived in NJ for twenty years; occasionally, they’d take us into NYC or Philly, and that would be totally awesome. But most of our vacations were just putzing around with the relatives we rarely see during the year.
Part of me wishes we had done more elaborate vacations–I used to cry about it sometimes because I felt guilty we hadn’t taken our kids on a great big fancy vacation, the kind that so many of their friends and cousins have gone on. But I’ve asked them about it now that they’re older, and they say they loved our modest vacations seeing family.
And here’s something I never figured on: going to Hawaii or Paris or wherever you want to go with your *grownup* kids is an option, too. I’ve taken two vacations like that with my own parents in recent years, and they were a blast. So the holidays don’t have to end when they grow up!!!
Kieran, I wish you could have met them too! On that note, it was lovely to meet you.
My family never went on a lot of vacations. My mom is from Southern California so when we went to visit family, we did go to Disneyland usually, and that in my memory is a Big Family Vacation and was one reason I was so excited to do it with my family.
But we didn’t take a trip every year, not even close. But we used to camp. Not even at a campground. We would just go up into the mountains. (We did the same with Christmas trees. That was it was an adventure…and $5 for the permit instead of $30-$50 in a tree lot!)
My parents had a way of making things feel like an adventure, rather than like we were limited in some ways, and I think I have the best memories.
I’m sure your kids do too!
I love that your parents made everything feel like an adventure!!! Mine did, too, and I do think our kids have that sense, as well. Thanks for reminding me that it’s the attitude we convey that makes all the difference in the world to our kids. This is so, so true. They pick up on that, don’t they? Very quickly.
And it was awesome meeting you, too, Maisey!!
I am sure I was one of those who looked at you like you were crazy. Baby Galen would have never had the patience to wait in the lines, hold my hand in the crowds, etc. But maybe she would have surprised me. You make me think I should give her more credit. I think it’s all about knowing your kids, too. You knew Danger could handle it. You knew he was ready. No one but you can know him that well, so I think it’s great that you followed your instincts, and I’m so glad you had a great time. We’ll be back when Baby Galen is 5 or 6.
Yay! I’m so happy you guys had a good time! And that is awesome news about Danger. =) (I’m also happy to hear that kids as young as 2 are good at Disneyland–means we might not wait as long as we were planning to take ours =). I don’t have any interesting vacation stories with our kids yet, but when *I* was a kid, we had a lot of vacations as families. One of my most memorable ones was when we reserved a camping spot at a park in Destin, FL for Memorial Day weekend. Drove from East TX to Destin, got there and found that they had double-booked the spot because someone ELSE was there, and there was nothing the office could do about it except give the money back. Since it was a holiday weekend, though, all the hotels were booked up. My parents (being angry) decided we would take our camper all the way back to Texas and go to Galveston instead. On the way back, we stopped one time to spend the night at a little campground in Louisiana, where there was sheep poop everywhere you stepped and overnight hundreds of ants got into the camper. Finally, when we reached Galveston, we couldn’t really swim in the ocean because there were so many jellyfish. Fun times, fun times. =)
My family loves Disneyland, because once you are there you don’t have to drive anywhere. We get a lot of “You are going to Disneyland again – why?” We love it. So glad your family had fun. Did your six year old get to see one of her favorite princesses? Or characters?
I’m so glad y’all had a wonderful time. Those memories will last a lifetime. I still remember my first trip to DisneyWorld and I don’t think I could have been more than 4 years old. We plan to take our girls this next summer, if everything goes as planned. Can’t wait! In the meantime we’ve done some beach trips here in TX and gone so see some family, but nothing major. But our kids are still really little.
We camped a lot growing up too, Maisey. We have a lot of state parks here in Central TX and we would just go and set the tent up and my dad had a boat and I have such fond memories of those weekends.
I’m glad you had such an amazing time at Disneyland. I know we had a wonderful time and it was such a disappointment to leave! As a kid I never did any amazing holidays till I was about 13 and we went to Darwin, a city in the Northern Territory State of Australia, the following year we went to Tasmania. But I remember trips we made to a firends caravan park about 2 hours south of Perth, West Aust. They were great family trips. My kids have been spoiled with us living here in the US, but we want to see as much of it as we can while we’re here so the RWA conferences has given us the chance to see NYC and now Disneyland! But having said that, they love to go on little camping trips too.