It seems like there’s ALWAYS a debate about breastfeeding going on. I think everyone pretty much agrees that breastfeeding (if and when possible) is best for a baby’s health, but we still argue about other topics surrounding the issue: Is it polite to breastfeed in public? In certain areas only, or everywhere? How should workplaces assist breastfeeding moms? What kind of support should hospitals give? Can you even call yourself a real mom if you choose not to breastfeed at all? (This last one might seem over-the-top, but I’m sure that’s how some mothers who do not breastfeed feel judged.)
My daughters are 3 and 1.5 now, so it’s been a while since this topic has been relevant to me as a mom. But I wanted to weigh in, anyway. Recently the mayor of New York City encouraged hospitals to treat formula as other medicine and drugs, keeping it essentially locked away until the mother signed for it. And even then, the mother would be given a lecture each time she gave her baby formula about how breastfeeding was so much better. It’s important to note that while this isn’t a law that has been passed, many of the hospitals are going along with Mayor Bloomberg’s “encouragement”.
For me personally, I felt that formula was a sanity-saver. I tried breastfeeding SuperGirl for a week, and at the end of that week I eventually caved (notice the negative connotation of that word) and started giving her the free formula we’d received in the mail and from the hospital. You know how they say that babies should eat every two hours for thirty minutes at first to build up breast milk? Well, SuperGirl was napping for thirty minutes and then eating for TWO HOURS; she had it completely backward. I had a lactation consultant come out as part of the hospital’s program and said that she was latching on fine, that her weight was fine, and it appeared I had enough milk. I tried pumping so my husband could feed her and I could get some sleep, but despite my milk being in, the pump never worked for me (and it was a good quality pump). At the end of the week before I gave her the formula, I remember breaking down and sobbing because I felt like a failure, but the breastfeeding was making me absolutely miserable. I was hardly sleeping, and although I didn’t have any other postpartum signs of depression, I felt that the lack of sleep was making me depressed. It was this and the support of my husband and mother (who was staying with us the first week) that allowed me to finally give myself permission to give SuperGirl formula.
I can’t tell you how much of a relief it was. I slept so well that night and felt like an entirely different–happier!–person the next day, and suddenly I could ENJOY my baby.
Still, as the negative connotation of “caved” earlier implies, I did feel like a failure. Because we’ve all heard by now the numerous benefits of breastfeeding, I think most moms who want the best for their children WANT to be a success at breastfeeding. There was intense pressure from myself as well as the larger society of mothers to do it. And I’d seen both of my sisters-in-law breastfeed their children for at least a year and with (what appeared to be) no problems.
So, when I became pregnant with WonderGirl, I knew that I wanted to try again. With SuperGirl, I hadn’t known that you could breastfeed and formula-feed at the same time. Knowing what had happened last time with SuperGirl, I intended to start out just breastfeeding with WonderGirl, but gave myself permission to alternate between breastmilk and formula as needed, and that’s exactly what I did. During the night and the day when I was awake I breastfed her, and my husband gave her formula in the mornings when I was still sleeping (again, pumping didn’t work for me). We did this for three months, until my breast milk eventually dried up and we went straight to formula (a move made because I went back to work).
Do I feel better about breastfeeding (at least partially) WonderGirl for three months? Definitely! 1) Since I knew what to expect, I felt like I was more mentally prepared. 2) I didn’t have the same soreness and pain I’d had with SuperGirl. 3) I felt that I bonded a lot more with WonderGirl through breastfeeding than I did formula feeding SuperGirl.
Now, it’s possible that if I hadn’t had those free cans of formula from the hospital that I wouldn’t have “caved” and started formula feeding SuperGirl after only one week. Or I might just have sent hubby out to the store to get some formula. =) And yes, I agree that breastfeeding, if and when possible, is best for baby. But do I think that moms (especially new moms!) should be shamed for choosing formula and made to feel bad about their decision when they do choose not to breastfeed? No, in my opinion; education is NOT the same as shaming.
Beyond that, I think that any mother who even ATTEMPTS to breastfeed should be given those golden boob awards that people post on mom forums; in my opinion, it’s the most difficult job when dealing with an infant.
Finally, I know that having formula as an alternative saved my sanity and very likely kept me from suffering from postpartum depression. It seems to me that we’re better off having a community of happy mothers who are also confident caregivers than women who start out feeling like they’re already on the losing end, or women who continue breastfeeding when it breaks them down mentally, physically, and emotionally. Breastfeeding is amazing, but in my opinion, we can’t overlook the health and happiness of mothers as part of the equation.
Now it’s your turn to weigh in! Did you breastfeed or formula feed (or both)? Even if your children are adopted, I’d love to hear from you! Do you think that hospitals should “lock up” formula, and do you think that this will encourage mothers to breastfeed or just make them more ashamed of choosing formula?
I have four children and have had different experiences with all of my children. I went into motherhood with the attitude if I can breastfeed I will but I’ll keep my options open so I didn’t have a clear picture one way or the other how I would end up feeding my child but knew with certainty that I would feed my child, either by breast or by bottle.
My first baby, a son, was born sucking the Doctors finger and was hungry from the get go. He was an absolute shocker when it came to sleep and I was quite stressed due to lack of sleep and health issues I had myself after the birth, but the one thing that worked well from day one was breastfeeding and it wasn’t through anything that I had done, it was just that my baby was fabulous from day one when it came to attachment and I had plenty of milk after the first few days. He was a pretty unsettled baby from day one due to a forceps delivery and was quite obviously a comfort sucker. I remember getting great care in the Hospital from the Nurses who in fact asked my permission to give him a little formula to try and tide him over as he fed so much. I had to sign a consent form giving permission which at the time I thought was a little over the top because surely a spoken consent would be enough, but the nurses had to cover their behinds by me acknowledging that they had informed me of the benefits of breastfeeding. After that time he didn’t need any supplements at all and I breastfed for a little over 12 months. I also fed for that length of time due to the benefits of breastfeeding also treating my Endometriosis.
My second child needed a little extra work when it came to attachment but I think due to my knowledge of feeding my first child, I persisted and we worked it out and once again I breastfed him for a little over 12 months.
My third child I suffered an epidural puncture after the birth which caused me terrible headaches such that I couldn’t sit upright at all and my son was born with a ‘tongue tie’ so he had attachment issues. I expressed breastmilk initially and then fed for six months until I was told I had to put him on formula due to medication I needed to take to treat an overactive thyroid. I found this extremely distressing and I remember having to go and buy formula and bursting into tears every time I looked at it. It wasn’t due to any objection I had to formula, I think the most distressing thing for me was the fact that it wasn’t my choice. He refused to take the formula from anyone so from the age of 7 months only had a small intake of formula through cereal and mixing it in with his food.
My fourth child, a little girl was the worst breastfeeder ever. If she had been my first child I can honestly say she would have been on formula from week 1 and I would never have attempted to breastfeed another child in my life. Knowing I would most likely be required to formula feed at some stage due to my thyroid issue I expressed breast milk so she would take a bottle from an earlier age as I wanted to avoid the issues I had with my third child. She really didn’t care what she got fed or how so it was an easy transition.
My children are now aged 11, 10, 8 and 5 and are all equally balanced in their health, behaviour, diet and are learning well at school. I think as mothers we all do what we feel is best for our babies and also for our own wellbeing and shouldn’t be judged by others for making a different decision.
I think that hospitals and medical professionals should promote breastfeeding and offer lots of support to new mothers learning to breastfeed, but they should also have formula available should the need arise.
My apologies….I seem to have written a short novel in response to your great post…oops!
Hi Karen! I loved your comment! =) I think what’s really great about this is being able to hear from you how each of your children was different, and how you had different health experiences with each child, too. Thanks so much for sharing! =)
I obviously didn’t breastfeed my kids b/c they were adopted, but when we were trying to get pregnant it was definitely something I had planned to do. I think the primary problem that breastfeeding brings is a judgmental attitude from moms – moms who judge moms who breastfeed in public and moms who breastfeed who judge moms who don’t. Frankly its no ones business what you decide to do with your own baby when it comes to breastfeeding. Yes, it’s the general consensus that nursing is best for the baby, but plenty of kids grow up healthy without breastfeeding – I’m actually one of them. I think we should lose the judgement and let each mother make whatever decision she feels is best for her child and her own health.
Agreed, Robyn. =) There are too many reasons why people would choose not to or are unable to breastfeed to blanket each one with this judgment, and it really does no one good. I think as long as moms are educated and have the support they need, then it’s up to them to make the choice.
None of my four kids had any formula. However, that had little to do with my feelings about formula and everything to do with the fact that breastfeeding was working and figuring out formula–which brand, how to prepare, how much to give–would have been burdensome to my postpartum brain.
I have a friend who was a La Leche League leader, and when her third child was born with Down syndrome, she found she was unable to breastfeed because of her daughter’s physical challenges, the baby’s surgeries, and the needs of her other two children. She felt like a failure. I told her she would be a better, less intimidating LLL leader for having had that experience.
As for the formula-as-medication issue, surely there’s a middle ground between giving away goody bags with forumula samples and lecturing women *every time* their little ones are hungry.
I think the focus should be much less on shaming women and much more on helping them–yes, there are lactation consultants in hospitals, but there should be more, with more time to just sit with new moms and help them out. There are so many helpful tricks to learn. If I hadn’t learned how to nurse while lying down, for example, I suspect I would have formula-fed my last three.
Hi Amanda! Thanks so much for your comment! I think the number one thing that meant a lot to me–with both children–was being able to sit down one-on-one with a lactation consultant outside of the hospital setting to ask questions, etc. a few days after we’d been home. You’re so overwhelmed and exhausted in the hospital to really pay attention (and I also always felt like I was just another name to be checked off on the rounds), and the home visit seemed like she was there solely to focus on me and my baby. I think it would be great if every hospital offered this service.
I breastfed my two kids a total of four and half years. While I think *shaming* is too harsh (really? ’cause we need more reasons to feel shitty about ourselves?), I am hopeful that some in between ground can be reached. I do think signing a consent form is a good idea. And maybe a meeting with a laceration consultant. Not a lecture. How could a lecture possibly help?
The thing is, breastfeeding is hard. I mean, it’s *so* hard sometimes. With my first, it was a full six weeks before either of us knew what we were doing. It took ages to do. I remember sitting up in bed at three in the morning, bawling because she was hungry, but I couldn’t get her to latch. It is incredibly hard and if you don’t expect it to be hard at first, you’ll “cave” to those freebie formulas.
I had one advantage. A friend who had a baby about a year before me had said breastfeeding was awful for the first six weeks and then it got much easier. So I had it in my head that it would only be hard for six weeks. And it was. I clung to that idea and it worked. I made it through the first six weeks and after that, everything became easier.
The thing is, once breastfeeding gets easy, it’s *so* easy. No bottles to wash. Nothing to sterilize. Nothing to run out of in the middle of the night. It’s just *so* easy. Seriously. It’s like all the work is in the first six weeks. With formula, there’s this constant maintenance.
I would never judge a mom who formula fed her babies. How could I judge them when they have to work so hard to do it?
But I *do* think that a lot of moms don’t have enough education about breastfeeding. If you don’t know how hard it is at first, *of course* you’ll give up quickly. If all you’ve ever seen are blissfuly, Madonna-types, gazing down at their three month olds, *of course* you’ll feel like a failure when you try to nurse your squalling two day old who can’t latch.
Hi Emily! I think this is a fantastic point about the six weeks being the hardest. I hadn’t heard that with SuperGirl, but I had heard it by the time I had WonderGirl, and even though I both breastfed and bottle fed, I do remember that it was easier to breastfeed when I was checking off those weeks in my mind (because by then their sleep schedule is a little more established, too). Thanks for commenting! =)
When I had my children, breastfeeding was looked down upon by the people in my life. My mother did everything she could to discourage me from the crass practice. The internet didn’t exist, so I was on my own. And it wasn’t easy…pain, cranky baby, and the list goes on. With my first child, I didn’t have an option. He was a premie. I learned with him that bottles were not easy. By the third child, my mother didn’t interfere and I chose to breast feed again and you are right…it’s “so” easy.
Hi Judi! I think it’s amazing to look at the trends in just the past 100 years. I remember seeing something the other day about babies being fed cows’ milk after three months of breastfeeding, which would be a huge no-no now. I’m so thankful for the Internet now–both for keeping me in touch with friends and relatives who can give support as well as for the larger community of mothers who’ve been there. Thanks for commenting today! =)
I breastfeed my first child and not my second child. To say that women who don’t breast feed probably have not had enough education on the benefits of breastfeeding. That is just not true. I have spoken to a lot of mom’s who have chose to bottle feed and they looked into both options. It’s a choice and to make a mom feel bad about the choice she is making is just wrong. As mom’s if we teach our children to eat healthy and to exercise then they will have a pretty healthy life. My daughter who I did breastfeed is 34 and she doesn’t eat right and doesn’t exercise and she has some health problems. My son who didn’t breastfeed is 25 and he is a healthy person. He eats well and he exercises. I am not saying that breastfeeding isn’t great for your baby, because it is. I just don’t think that a hospital or a mayor of a city needs to get involved in my choice. The hospital should give the new mom the info on both and the let her chose what she wants to do and not make her feel shamed with the choice she makes. I don’t feel that any women has to explain why she made one choice or the other, so I won’t. except to say it was MY CHOICE and that is all anyone needs to know. Sorry, but I needed to get that off of my chest.
Hi Mary! Thanks so much for this! While I definitely believe that breastfeeding is healthier for the baby, if anything I also believe that mothers should be educated on both–because who knows if someone will need to start using formula for any reason, and then has no idea how to start? There has to be a way to treat everyone with compassion, no matter what choice they make. I always respected my mom because she told me that she would try not to give advice on something unless she really felt it was important, and even then it would be my decision and she would support me in whatever decision I made. I wish the community of health officials and mothers could be like this, too. =)
I breastfed my daughter for 6 weeks, and it was fine. I didn’t really have any problems. Well, we had our marathon feedings and the nurse actually asked me if she could give the baby formula in the hospital because she hadn’t had a wet diaper several hours after birth. I felt like a failure then, but that was nothing compared to what happened when Baby Galen was 7 weeks. All of a sudden, she just stopped wanting to eat. She didn’t want the breast or the bottle or anything. Every single feeding–and how many are there at 7 weeks, like 10 a day?–was horrible. She cried and screamed and went psycho on me. I started wondering what the heck I’d gotten myself into with this motherhood thing and wondering how much gas I needed in the car to runaway to Mexico.
I consulted lactation experts, my mom, my MIL, other moms, my pediatrician, etc. We tried different medicines and I avoided certain foods, but nothing helped. Nothing helped for 4 months! I think it was at about 2.5 months when the pediatrician gave me permission to bottle feed. I felt like I needed permission for some reason. Even then, I still pumped and supplemented.
Finally, at 4 months, I happened to be giving the baby a bottle and had her sitting in her swing because she had a cold and a stuffed up nose. I had Baby Einstein on, and she drank the whole bottle and didn’t cry a bit. Until she was 17 months old, I could not get her to eat without protest without having a distraction. And get this, she is now 34 months old, and the other day my mom was visiting. My mom had been caring for her for a week while I was at RWA. Baby G didn’t want to finish her eggs, and said, “May I be excused?” I said, “Yes.” My mom started lecturing me that she could get her to finish her eggs, all I needed to do was–that’s right–distract her. The kid is almost 3! I am done with playing games to get her to eat. I just smiled at my mom and said, “Be my guest,” and proceeded to watch as my mom followed Baby G around and tricked her into eating. Would I be sane if I did that 3 times a day? Nope. In the end, a sane, happy mother is best for a baby.
Hi Shana! Lol–I can’t imagine having to distract my kid into eating like that. At dinner time specifically we try to finish the meal as a family (no one leaving the table), so we put the kids into their booster seats and strap them in. When they say they’re done, we say that’s fine, but they have to sit at the table until everyone else is done, too. That seems to really help keep them there, and I know that they sometimes eat more when they know they can’t get down to go play.
But on to the breastfeeding, this just is further proof (in my mind) that no mother and child are alike. I can’t imagine how tough those 4 months must have been, and I know what you mean about needing to feel like someone gave you permission. When I broke down after a week with SuperGirl, I kept asking my husband and mom if it was all right to give her formula. Thank goodness they, who could see what a wreck I was, said yes and were very supportive. Sometimes doing our best is all we can do, and we deserve to be happy for doing that. =)
What a fabulous post on breastfeeding! You were so articulate on the subject. I loved how straightforward and open you were. Too many people get emotional on this topic, and we need to focus on its benefits and drawbacks as a method of feeding our children–that’s it.
I will never forget going to a meeting of moms who breastfed their babies. I desperately needed help with my first one. So I went to a private home and met these women in the La Leche League.
BIG MISTAKE!
They not only didn’t support occasional formula feeding–they were all still breastfeeding their kids at age four (not for me, thank you) and carrying their babies around all day because that’s how tribal people bond with their kids. I respect anyone who wants to make these choices, but I don’t like them being foisted on me. When they got upset that my child used a pacifier occasionally–because he should be attaching only to my nipple, I left with a strong dislike of La Leche League. I felt they had lost a huge opportunity to be a credible support organization with their overly emotional, almost fanatical mission to convert every mom to their way of thinking.
So as for hospitals locking away formula–NO. Once again women are being treated as if we are stupid, impulsive creatures, when we’re the ones who police the millions of children in this world to make sure they come to no harm and in fact, flourish.
We know the information. So let us make our own decisions. Formula is not actively harming babies–if it were, then yes, medical people need to look out for a child’s health and ban whatever it is that actively harms babies. *I* was a formula-fed baby. My mom had 7 babies in 9 years! I was number 6. No wonder she formula-fed me (besides the fact that back then, formula was considered the way to go). I hardly think I was harmed. I’ve become a productive member of society. My IQ is just fine. So everyone, lay off moms who formula feed! I made it six months with each of my kids and breatsfeeding, but I occasionally used formula during those months. My kids were freaking starving! Breast milk wasn’t hacking it. So after a while, I’d feed them some formula with rice. We got a good pattern going, and we came out on the other side just fine. I did it *my* way, using information I had searched out myself and been given by my doctor.
We need to give women more credit. Same old story, right? And if a woman wants to breastfeed in public, hell, yeah. I’m all for it as long as she makes an attempt to do it discreetly–which doesn’t mean hiding in a corner, but for me, it means covering her breast and baby to prevent pervs from getting a thrill.
Great topic, Elise! We could go on for days about this!
Thanks, Kieran! =) I haven’t had any kind of experience like that with La Leche; in fact, I’ve been fortunate in talking to great people who were my lactation consultants. I have so much respect for moms who are doing their best to take care of and raise their children–whether that means not breastfeeding at all or breastfeeding their child for years. Compassion, to me, is the operative word. =) Thanks for your comment today!
I hope that my experience with La Leche was a small, isolated incident. I would hate to think other moms would undergo the humiliation I did. It was also twenty years ago and in a private setting–which suggests to me that there was little oversight in the organization. Hopefully, La Leche has a mission statement and a set of teaching objectives that the majority of its members follow. And I hope those objectives include one that makes sure new moms who come for help are treated with respect, whatever choices they make!!!
I nursed Pax for about 9 1/2 months. The first month was the worst! The first week involved a trip to the emergency room. She’s was dropping weight. (seriously, do you know how much it hurts to have ‘malnutrition’ as a diagnosis on a five day old that you have been trying exhaustively to feed.) I had the doctor telling me to give her 30ml formula and the lactation consultant’s nurse telling me to limit the amount of formula to 15ml (and Pax kept throwing up the formula). I wanted to nurse her, but she didn’t have the energy to latch properly. Luckily when I finally talked to the lactation consultant – she told me to pump and bottle feed her with mommie’s milk if that was the only way she was going to take it. Luckily but the next week she was doing better – we got her latching, she was gaining weight (my husband and I were high fiving each other in the doctor’s office). We had a small hitch in latching a couple of weeks later, but we got through it.
We made milestones. Can we make it two weeks? Yea! Can we make it two months? Yea! Can we make it six months? Yea!
Then it was… we could stop when she started teething.
Did I stop because she was teething? No. One week in October (when she was nine 1/2 months old) we all had the stomach flu. I was the only one on medication – so I couldn’t nurse her. Pax was throwing up everything – so she couldn’t nursing – it was iffy sometimes if she would keep down the watered down juice.
By weeks end, she was weaned. We transitioned her to formula. Oh yeah, and she started teething that weekend. Did I have any problems with her asking for some ‘nip’? Nope.
I only breast feed in public a couple of times. One of them, my mom hovered over me the whole time… where I surround by mostly women… who I’m pretty sure none of them would have been offended that I was nursing Pax. I nursed her a lot at her day school, in the nursery with the teachers and other kids. No one cared.
My lactation consultant’s POV was that she wanted Mom to at least try – and she meant to really give it an honest effort. She had watched women attempt once maybe twice, and by week’s end – the baby was on formula. What she really didn’t like were women who gave birth and not nurse at all. I’m inclined to agree.
Sometimes women have to supplement with formula because they aren’t producing enough… or they just don’t produce much! Do I look down on them? No. If they have to stop nursing because of medication or health, so I look down on them? No. What about the baby? Some times they just don’t do well on breast milk. Should we blame someone for that? No.
Should the formula be locked up and signed out? No. When it comes down to it… it is the mother’s and doctor’s discretion if to go to formula.
Hi Sarah! I loved your comment–and admire you so much for how hard you struggled for Pax! I’m also of the mind that truly trying is the most important thing, and after that we should trust that mom knows what is best for both her and baby. Thanks again! =)
As a neonatal nurse, I walk a very line fine with this issue. My hospital is awesome with encouraging and supporting breastfeeding moms. Our exclusive breast feeding rates are well over 80%.
We don’t have to get consent signed for formula, but it must be the mother’s request and decision and in some cases, it must be a physician order to supplement with formula. (A misconception: we night shift nurses do not sneak your infant formula or sugar water in the nursery. There is a high risk of aspiration – going into the lungs – and we would never do it without the mother’s consent.)
There is a fine line between guilt tripping an exhausted, overwhelmed new mother and educating and encouraging. Every woman is different. Every baby is different. Every family dynamic is different. There is no one answer. You have to find what works for you and own it.
If a mom is exhausted and about to give up on breastfeeding completely and asks me to give the baby formula, I will make a “deal” with her: I will finger feed her baby formula while she gets a good night sleep with the promise that she will try breastfeeding again in the morning. This works amazingly well. Sleep deprivation does not make for good decision making.
I try to educate and encourage if a mom is having normal doubts about her ability to breastfeed successfully, but there comes a point if she says she doesn’t want to continue, I provide formula. It’s not my job to make you breastfeed. It’s my job to give you all the facts and assistance you need to decide what is going to be the best for you and your baby.
Hi Janet! Thank you so much for weighing in, and I have to say that I would love to be a mother at whatever hospital you work at. =)
I have two children, each experience was different. With my first, breastfeeding was uncomfortable, so I pumped and gave her breast milk that way, for about nine months. For my son, eight years later, I was in the same hospital, but there was a lactation consultant/group and they helped me work out the kinks and I was able to physically breastfeed my son until I went back to work ft (for about three months) and then pumped for the remainder of the time, still enjoying my night time feedings at the breast.
As far as locking up formula in hospitals, REALLY, I’m sorry but I think that is over the top. I would lock it away from the nurses but not the mom’s. My daughter was given formula in the hospital because they didn’t want to bother me when I was resting even though I expressly stated I did not want her to have formula-the end result was that I wouldn’t let them take her back to the nursery. When my son was born I was told the hospital no longer put notes or signs on the cribs to indicate who was not to be given formula so that the mom’s who chose not to breastfeed wouldn’t feel bad – that was okay with me. I think we need to learn to accept that everyone is different and that it’s okay to be different, isn’t everyone taught that?
I have talked to pregnant co-workers, friends and relatives about breastfeeding and there are a multitude of reasons why people want to and don’t want to do it. It’s an individual choice, yes, the baby could get more from breast milk, but sometimes breast milk isn’t enough or sufficient – it’s an individual choice. Leave politics & politicians out of it please-unless it is their body and baby!
Hi Marie! Thanks so much for commenting today! Speaking of nurses, I can’t tell you how much I loved the nurses at my hospital (both times). I felt so supported when they agreed to take the babies for just a few hours so I could get some decent sleep. I wasn’t trying to do formula in the hospital, but they would try and comfort the babies by singing and swaying until they finally brought them in to me to feed–and just that, having someone to give me that support, made me feel like I had a great start. I know that there are different policies in different hospitals, and so I think that one of the best things a mom can do is (if insurance allows) choose the hospital that is the most supportive of moms, period. I definitely feel that I was fortunate in that area.
I’ve really enjoyed reading all these responses. We have a bunch of very smart, passionate, brave, and empathetic women coming to Peanut Butter on the Keyboard.
I’m grateful you’re here offering your advice, sharing your experiences–whether they’re funny, sad, outrageous, or uplifting–and supporting the other moms who come to this place.
Thanks so much!!!
I breastfed both of my girls until they were toddlers (18mo and 16mo), and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. However, I think it’s horrible when when women struggle with it, or make the decision not to, and are made to feel like failures. I had very little trouble with it and considered that a true blessing, as many of my friends did have difficulties. As you said, I think any effort should be honored, as it is in the first 3-4 months that it has the most benefits for baby. I was also lucky to have a job at the time that was supportive of breastfeeding. Nursing moms were allowed adequate breaks and encouraged to pump in the gym downstairs, which also meant that we developed a pumping support group! However, despite my positive experience, I would never judge another mom’s decision. All moms and babies are different. Should they lock away the formula in hospitals? I don’t think so… But I also don’t think the nurses should pressure moms to use formula. That happened to me in the hospital. My first was cluster feeding at 2am and my milk hadn’t come in yet. In the end I was crying in my room (feeling like a failure) while they fed her formula un the nursery. I felt awful. But I also ended up breastfeeding her until 18mo, so early formula feeding does not always mean a stop to nursing!
Hi Julie! Thanks so much for commenting! I think that developing a pumping support group at your work is an awesome idea! I hope that’s happening at other workplaces, too. =) I had really great hospitals, but I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to have a mom and the nursing staff working at odds. If all moms need support and respect (which we do), I think it should come from the very beginning, where hospitals helps us do our best–whether that means our decision is to breastfeed or formula feed–not the opposite.
I breastfeed my son for 11 months. He was never great at latching and it was challenging for the first few weeks. We were frequent visitors at the free lactation clinic that was available at our hospital several afternoons a week. We did master breastfeeding lying down by about the time my son was about 3 months. We were so good at it that one of the nurses at the lactation clinic asked us to come and give a demonstration to a group of nurses. For me, breastfeeding lying down was a life saver, as my son would feed well and we would both get a short nap.
One of my cousins was never able to breastfeed. She even consulted a top lactation doctor in her city, without success. It just didn’t work for her and her child. Her son is a year younger than mine and has about 15 lbs and a couple of inches on him too.
I think that every woman has the right to make the decision that works best for her, her child and her family. If that is formula, then so be it.. I’m not sure why breastfeeding is such a polarizing issue. New moms need support, not judgement (totally agree with Kieran about LLL – way too serious and intense for me).
I’m glad I stuck with breastfeeding – I have fond memories of rocking with my son in the middle of the night and singing to him. I also have not-so-fond memories of looking at my watch at 3am and wishing he would hurry up and finish up so I could go back to sleep.
LOL! This reminds me of how much I loved my Droid smartphone when I was still breastfeeding WonderGirl. I could keep up to date with the Arab Spring on Twitter feeds and check Babycenter constantly with one hand while I was holding WonderGirl with the other. There was definitely bonding, but also boredom at times. =)
Great topic! I nursed all three of my kiddos exclusively for the first year. Will they ever stand up at graduation and say, “Thanks, mom, for getting up all hours of the night to nurse me!” or even, “Sorry for exposing you several times to passer-byers” ? Probably not.
I was the reverse of everyone else. My kids wouldn’t take bottles!! So, I had a boppy continuously attached to my middle for what seemed like forever, but whether it’s dashing to the store for formula or whipping out a boob, it’s each mama’s choice. Just like it was my choice to cut ‘em off at 1yr old. Way too many teeth for my liking! LOL
LOL! Thanks, Sarah! Yeah, I always cringe at the idea of teething and breastfeeding.
Thanks for commenting tonight!
at least you could use a Boppy! I’m too short waisted! We have two and I couldn’t use them!
During the time period I had my sons, my doctor told me that I should formula feed the babies as it was more nutritious! Go figure. I kick myself to this day that I did not breast feed them. Fixing formula back then was an awful chore and then they were so tiny that they only drank an ounce at a time. It’s was exhausting.
As for Bloomberg, I really think from some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth, he needs to be locked up in the Looney Bin! “Get out of women’s business, you old goat!”