Let’s all laugh about that title together, for a whole paragraph:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Okay, now we can breathe again and try to remember that we’re sensual, hot women with needs of our own, not just bedraggled mommies with endless supplies of energy and understanding for our babies. Yes, you’re sleep deprived. And yes, your bed partner always asks you at the wrong time to turn into a sex goddess. But this really is an example of when you should fake it until you make it.
No! Not that kind of faking it! Never pull a Meg Ryan–for your own sake, not for anyone else’s. Sex needs to be about you, too. I know “they” say that you should give it up whenever your partner wants it because in a loving relationship you do that, but sometimes I think “they” should go stuff their heads in a toilet and flush.
What I mean by faking it until you make it is this: when your partner wants to have sex and you’re too worn out, mentally and/or physically, try to think of sex as a gift to the weary. Yes, to the weary. And to the frustrated, the anxious, and the depressed—all states of being that mothers understand.
Be open to new ways of being sensual before nodding off to sleep. Tell your partner you’re tired but that you’re willing to play around. Turn on Cinemax (OMG, I had no idea until the other night that you can see naked people on TV! I was shocked!). Read a hot sex scene in a book. Buy nice lingerie.
And if nothing, absolutely nothing, gets you in the mood, say no.
But chicas, I know this from experience, say no too many times and you both suffer in a romantic relationship. It’s such a relief to turn over and go to sleep sometimes when you’re in full-fledged mommy mode, but as time goes by, my husband gets severely cranky, I get bitchy (you need those hormones flowing through your body, seriously, or you’ll get brittle and wrinkled before your time; it’s a fact), and our relationship in general can sour.
This still happens to me, even though our kids are older. Their problems simply change. You’re as obsessed with wanting to help them as you are when they’re toddlers. And then the opportunities to have sex dwindle as they age up. The house gets really, really small. Everyone can hear everything!
Crikey.
So make hay while you can, ladies. Sex is always going to be a challenge until you have an empty nest.
I get such mileage in my relationship from a good sex romp with my husband that I’ve learned to remind myself of all the great advantages when I’m in full-fledged exhaustion/hysteria/anxiety/depression mode. And what’s so crazy is that it’s taken me years to figure out how much better off I am, too!!!
TMI? Deal with it. :>)
And don’t be me. Don’t go through spartan sex times. Literally, keep a secret calendar to remind yourself how often (or not) you’re having Green Eggs and Ham sex with your partner (you’ll take it in a car, on a boat, on the train, in a box…but not the plane. Please, not the plane. We’ll all hear you.) Do whatever it takes to keep your libido alive. And go away for an overnight in your own town’s bed and breakfast. Let Grandma take the kids. Drink a cocktail to loosen yourself up when you’re anxious, if you can do so in moderation (otherwise, you’ll fall asleep). And most of all, keep your sense of humor, your sense of adventure, and your sense of fun.
Sex really is Nature’s way of keeping us young and flexible. Make this your new mantra: More Sex, More Me. Okay, that sucks as a mantra, but I mean that you’ll blossom when you keep sex a priority. Yes, blossom!!! And you’ll remember that you matter, your marriage or relationship matters, your partner matters…not just those roly-poly babies with their gummy smiles and adorably charming ways.
That’s what I mean by More Sex, More Me. Now someone come up with a better slogan in the comments. Please! And okay, if you’ve had sex on a plane, you can tell us in the comments if you want to brag.
But the most important thing is that tonight you’re going to pull out that tray of appetizers, that bottle of wine, some cool glasses, and make a date with your hottie. I promise you won’t regret it. But don’t tell us what happened.
TMI.
We’ll be able to tell anyway from that rosy glow on your cheeks and the bon vivant Tweets you’ll post tomorrow.
XOXO Kieran
Kieran Kramer, Merry Mama
Hi, I’m Kieran. My family loves music and anything that makes us laugh out loud. I try to teach my kids that we have to actively choose happiness–and if I accomplish nothing else as a mom but pass that one lesson along to them, then I think I’ve done my job.
My oldest guy, Dragon, was diagnosed in kindergarten with Asperger’s syndrome, and now he’s a sophomore in college; his sister Indie Girl, who’s younger by 16 months, is a college freshman; and my 
youngest, Nighthawk, is in eighth grade. My kids are compassionate, smart, fun, and funny people–and they turned out that way even though I wasn’t June Cleaver. I lose my keys all the time. I stare into the fridge and wonder what’s for dinner in half an hour and then remember I have to cook it. I double-book things a lot because I have three ways to make appointments (phone, purse calendar, and kitchen calendar) and haven’t yet worked out a great system for streamlining them. I don’t know how I managed to write a book, much less five now. But for me and my kids, it’s about managing your weaknesses and wringing everything you can get out of your strengths. And along the way, finding joy.
Kieran, I think we should start calling you Wise One. Great blog and so true! (I say as I write this on about 5 hours of sleep). It is very hard to switch from mommy-mode to siren-mode. I like your tips–except for Skinemax. Eww. And I seriously think the plane thing is a myth. I mean, once I tried to change Baby Galen’s diaper in a plane and I could barely fit her (an infant) and me (an average-size woman) in that tiny bathroom. But please let us know if I’m wrong.
Yeah, totally, I have NO idea how people do it in those tiny plane bathrooms, but I admit I wonder every time I go in and use one!!! LOL!!!!
Haha, Shana!!! About Skinemax!!!! I’ve never actually watched a show on it, but I saw a scene once, and it was totally X-rated in my book, but my husband said it’s called soft porn because they don’t go all the way. I had no idea we even had that on our TV. But as I said, whatever works for you, do it. There should be no shame. We’re sexual beings whether we approve or not, LOL!! It’s part of being human.
In fact, at one university booksigning, I had a bunch of older women around me–highly educated women who have earned the right to be whoever they are with confidence but most of whom were going through “the change” and confessed that their sex lives had dropped off–and I told them that reading romance novels might perk up their libidos They seemed so relieved to hear someone talk about it! They were excited! I wish you could have seen how pretty they all looked laughing about it and talking and actually being kind of hopeful!
Sex taps into whatever it is that brightens us.
So anyway, moms should feel absolutely good about spending some of their precious time keeping their sex lives active and fresh. Everyone in the family will be better off for it.
Kieran, this is great advice! I was in a slump for a long time, and it was causing all sorts of problems in my relationship. We’ve established a system that works for us, and a lot of it had to do with a book I picked up (A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex). I didn’t actually try anything suggested in the book, but even having my exhaustion validated seemed to resurrect my libido.
Ooo, I want that book! I might want multiple copies to toss around to my friends on our next Girls’ Night Out. Book club material, perhaps? Thanks for the title. And yes, feeling that you’re not alone in your exhaustion DOES make things better. That’s a wonderful point!
See, I think we moms are all too hard on ourselves. We tend to assume the best in other people, but we don’t give ourselves a whole lot of credit (at least in my experience interacting with other moms). Exhaustion is a fact when you’re a mother, and it’s OKAY. We’re always better off when we face the truth without judgment and then…just work around it, staying compassionate to yourself and maintaining a sense of humor. The human animal is a complex, marvelous, amazing thing–yet we’re also pretty simple in our wants and needs. Recognizing that paradox allows me to give myself breaks and laugh, too.
Love this, Kieran, such good advice. (And this is why all women should be reading romance novels–not that I’m biased *cough*. Nothing can put you in the right state of mind switching from mommy mode to woman mode faster.)
I think it’s easy to fall into that mommy mode where it’s almost acceptable by society to be anti-sex because we’re so tired/overworked/etc. And we ARE tired, but that doesn’t mean we should give up on that part of our relationship.
I saw a post on a very popular mommy site that I usually love that had pictures of hot men saying things like “I’ll take out the trash” or “Sure, I’ll take the kids for a few hours so you can rest” and called it real mommy porn (as opposed to the whole 50 Shades thing everyone is talking about.) But the article kind of made me mad. No. Having my husband do the dishes is a nice thing, I appreciate it. It makes him a good guy. It does not satisfy a sexual need. I don’t want being a “mommy” to mean I’m supposed to be “turned on” because my husband vacuumed. If all I cared about is a guy who helps out with chores, I could hire a maid.
Regardless of how I feel about the 50 Shades book (it’s the genre I write, so I’m picky), I love that women out there are trying new things with their husbands and spicing things up, finding that sexy side again. Bravo. The best thing you can do for your kids is to take care of their parents and their relationship–a healthy sex life helps all of that.
The last line of your post says it all, Roni. Yes, yes, and YES!!!!!
And I hope I’m not misrepresenting your point, but I love how you suggest that it can be a little dangerous to succumb to the portrayal of moms our culture perpetuates…that we are exhausted, almost anti-sexual beings–we’re pure MOM, and nothing else.
No to that. A BIG no!!!!
And I’m really happy that we have writers like you around whose books validate for women the truth that we are as sexual as men are, and we have nothing to be ashamed of, especially if we want to explore that realm more than social mores permit or have ever encouraged us to do.
What an excellent post! You’re so right, and thank you for the reminder that it continues to be tough when the kids get older. I have a 1- and 5-year old and I catch myself thinking, “It will be easier to make time when they’re older.” You’re right. It won’t. And waiting isn’t going to make finding the time any easier.
Noelle, I loved your comment, “even having my exhaustion validated seemed to resurrect my libido.”
Lexi, I really hope that my sharing about my own experience will help other moms. Yes, don’t wait until “later.” Otherwise, you’ll be waiting at least 18 years if you have one child, and maybe 25 years if you have several. Don’t wait. Embrace your sexuality now, protect it, and nurture it. In my opinion, it is VITAL to a good relationship, truly it is. I know people say they can have happy, non-sexual marriages. I read about arrangements like that all the time. But what if those couples added sex back into the mix? I swear, I think they would be happier!!!
Love this. Love it. It makes so much sense, and I plan to keep it in mind when the hubby starts getting that look in his eyes and all I want is five minutes to myself. Which will probably be tonight…
Lisa, LOL!!!! Yes, remember that tonight.
If I really have a need to be alone, I’m not shy about saying, “Let’s make this quick. I have stuff to do!” I believe in honesty–spoken as lovingly as possible, although emotional buildup sometimes makes that tough. But if I stop being honest with my husband about how I’m feeling when the sex prospect presents itself, resentment WILL build up. So we stay honest, and we wind up working around how *I* feel at the moment–because he’s ALWAYS ready (aren’t they all?).
Inevitably, I wind up having fun anyway, and those 5 minutes I wanted to myself are still there afterward. And we’re closer because we made the choice to be together even though there are a MILLION reasons why we shouldn’t have bothered. Taking that time, in the face of all the other distractions we have in life, is a very strong statement about who you are as a couple. It means you put each other first.
And kids actually LOVE that!!!! Ever notice the grins on their faces when you kiss your partner in the kitchen???
:>)
Kieran, what a great post … and how completely appropriate for our mommy blog, because, seriously, we mommies need great sex more than anyone. We need it for the stress release, for the fun and because it helps us be closer to our partners. Lets face it, parenting is so hard. We need that boost that intimacy brings.
And our partners need it to … now, before you think I’ve gone all 1950′s on you, let me explain. Parenting is hard on us moms, but we have mommy friends we can call and gripe to. We have play groups and sisters or cousins or our mothers or blog friends, or whoever it is, that we call on the phone or chat on line with. When parenting stress us out, we have multiple ways to de-stress.
But I guarantee that when parenting stresses out my husband, he does not go into work the next day and say to the guy in the next cubicle, “Man, I felt like a shitty dad last night.” When it comes to talking things out, he has me. And even then, he’s not a big talk about his feelings guy. It makes the release we both get from sex all the more important.
Yay, that’s the new slogan! “We Mommies Need Great Sex More Than Anyone.” I love it. (grin)
And I also agree that men need the intimacy just as much. You bring up such a good point. How often do men really get to be vulnerable and open up? Not often at all. So thanks for reminding us of that, Emily!!!
Thanks to everyone for posting really excellent comments!!!
Great, great point, Emily. i hadn’t thought about that.
My husband and I were just talking about this two nights ago. I’d gotten rather smashed at the one party we’ve gone to all year and . . . fill in the blank.
I work days and he works nights and the kids are always home and we don’t even get to sleep in the same bed at the same time so sex is few and far between. We’ve noticed we’re much happier with each other after a good romp in the unmade bed (Really, why make it up when someone’s just going to get back in), but both super cranky during the dry spells.
No one ever wants to take about this stuff, but we need sex as much as we need food and water and shelter. Good for you Kieran for not being afraid to share it!
“We need sex as much as we need food and water and shelter.”
I love this quote, and I’d like to add: “if we want to become fully actualized as human beings.” We can cut off that part of our nature and survive, but we won’t be fully who we were meant to be.
Thanks so much for your entire comment. I know it must be so hard to get romantic when you’re working opposite schedules. Good luck with that. Maybe you should go to more parties! Honestly!!!
Have you ever noticed that we get into ruts? We need to actively get out of them, and oftentimes, we have no one but ourselves to give us that kick in the pants we need. Maybe you and your husband could look in advance on your calendars and plan more date or sex nights. But I’ll tell you right now, every woman I know who’s been in a sex or romance rut (including me) is usually the one who has to take charge to get out. If that’s what happens with you, don’t feel alone and don’t resent your husband. Men are clueless party planners in general–why should they suddenly become expert at planning date/sex nights?
I know someone out there is going to say that her partner is super proactive, and that is GREAT. But don’t feel bad if yours is not. Just keep your eye on the prize: a closer bond and some good, sexy fun! ANd do what you have to do to make it happen.
If we can plan our kids’ orthodontist appointments and show up at our bunco nights with the girls, we can plan a date that winds up in the bedroom (or on that boat, car, tent, etc!!!) with our partner!!!!
Brava! Kieran! And I agree with Shana, we should totally change your moniker to “the wise one” you just always seem to get it right. We hit a bad intimacy spell after my first miscarriage. I fell into a pretty deep depression and I just wasn’t interested. I kept blaming my body, I wasn’t healed yet, my hormones were out of whack, etc. etc. But at the core, I know now it’s b/c I was fighting that intimacy, I didn’t want to connect with my husband b/c I didn’t want him to see all the ugly stuff I was faceted on. I eventually just did it to get it over with and it was so healing. We’re pretty good about staying connected now. Even last year, while we were settling into being parents, I think we actually ended up having sex more often b/c we both needed that stress release and time together at the end of an emotionally draining day.
Oh and I’m pretty sure it’s a statistical fact that women who read romance novels have more sex than women who don’t. So let’s hear it for our books and the women who read them!
Yes, Robyn, I read, too, that women who read romance novels have more sex!!! We’re doing a real service writing them. I actually had to tell that to my female church leader, who told me that I was causing women to have adulterous thoughts since they were fantasizing about my fictitious characters! I said we need to give women credit for being able to distinguish between fantasy and reality, and I also said that romance writers, if they’re helping women’s libidos, might also be helping save marriages. And then I left that church.
And I know what you mean about periods of depression intervening. I’m so sorry about your miscarriages, Robyn. But it was totally natural to need time to yourself, just to face what happened and work through the grief. I’m so glad you and your husband were able to help with your healing through sex. It IS a healing thing.
Several times, I have burst into tears at my husband’s approach when I know he wants sex, and it’s all because I was carrying around inside me some very deep, sad feelings and anxieties. Sex touches exactly where your body, mind, and spirit come together. It can be a threat to the broken or wounded, so that’s why I would cry.
But thank God for my husband’s reaching out to me sexually. It might have taken me much longer to rid myself of those feelings–I could put off dealing with them. But you can’t when you’re being sexual. You face everything. It can actually help you be brave.
YOU’RE brave, Robyn, and I admire you so much!!!!
My boys at 19 and 21 are finally not rolling their eyes every time their Dad flirts with me. It is an almost constant state for him to be flirting. The part I love the best is it makes me feel beautiful when he is always after me even after being married for 23 years last Sunday and together for almost 25 years. I will add one of the best advantages of being regular about spending time with hubby is the great stress relief it causes. Nothing better than being so limp that you can barely turn over and go to sleep and it’s not because of exhaustion but that there is not one tense muscle in your body.
What a great comment on a fabulous relationship!!!! You sound like you have a wonderful marriage. ANd I think your husband is setting a great example to his boys, how to treat their future wives. Women love to be adored. We love to feel pretty and alluring.
Don’t we? I won’t deny it!
So many of us women tend to live in our heads and ignore our bodies. But we owe our bodies SO much. This sounds obvious, but without them, we wouldn’t be here to HAVE those great/wise thoughts we have. So we owe our bodies big-time. We should thank them every day and treat ourselves as if we deserve to be loved and love with abandon, until we’re like YOU, pics4, limp and sated with the sheer pleasure that comes from being alive and PARTICIPATING in life….
No being on the sidelines for us!!!
Oh, I am SO guilty of the “I’m so tired- maybe tomorrow night.” :/ I’ve been trying to be better about it, though, because NO ONE is happy in our house during a dry spell, lol!
I’ve found my husband’s willingness to give me back massages, etc, really helps me when I’m just worn out. I go from frazzled and depleted to relaxed.
Yes, Olivia, a husband willing to massage makes a big difference. The Professor is always great about that. Being more relaxed definitely helps one to get more in the mood.
Yes, but beware the back massage you think is innocently offered! No such thing!
Wahah! (It’s sort of charming though…I mean, they love us!)
Olivia, you’ve got small kids, and it’s natural to be exhausted. Let your husband give you those backrubs, and you relax and just remember that your togetherness as a couple makes the whole family light up a little brighter.
Okay, ladies, after today’s post, I wish I could be a MOMMY SEXPERT on TV and wear fur boas and pink suits and cat-eye glasses with diamonds on them and wax on about how every mom needs to be having lots of sex. Wouldn’t that be a fun job?!?
Yeah. I found that out loooong ago. Haha!
Amen, amen, amen! We became too wary of the “Small house” thing as our son aged, and let it become way too rare. Don’t let that happen to you young moms! Stay as close to your husbands as you can manage. You’ll be glad you did!
I agree 1,000%, MJ! Do it while you can, sexy young moms, before those kids know what’s going on!!!
It kind of puts a damper on things when they’re older and knock on the door and you say, “Yesssss????” and then they walk away and won’t look at you an hour later because they KNOW what was going on in there, LOL!!!
I think it’s a good thing they know what’s going on, but there are still privacy boundaries that need to be kept (IMO). And nobody likes coitus interruptis. Is that a real term?!?
:>D
Woohoo! I love this post! I might join Kieran in the TMI…When I was pregnant with baby #2 I had a one year old, and I was TIRED and just not interested. I was in the store and I skimmed a romance novel and went…oooh, well, that’s quite something! So I told my husband, I think want to start reading romance novels. I think that might help. And you know? It did. And it’s not just that they have sexy scenes, it’s that they remind me of why it’s so WONDERFUL to be in love. To have found the man that I’m spending the rest of my life with. They make me think about what a gift I have and they make me want to celebrate it! (this is why I’m like O_O when people say romance novels are an enemy of marriage…I’m like…WHAT? but that’s another story…)
Now that we have three kids, 2, 4, 6 we’re even more tired. And I think that time is more important. Some days we’re passing each other ALL day. Working, doing kid things, and we don’t see each other until we crash. But even after a whole day apart, honestly, nothing brings you together like sex. It’s so hugely important. It’s something the two of you share only with each other and can’t get anywhere else.
I am SO with you. Do it even when you feel blah. I find you usually get in the mood once you start.
That’s so true! Trust the process! Even if I’m feeling uninterested, I can GET interested if I just get past the barrier of saying no.
And Maisey, I think there’s nothing more wonderful than a young, happy family that’s crazy busy and yet at the end of the day, the parents remember what they mean to each other.
You ladies are making me feel very teary right now with your marvelous-ness!!! I’m in awe of all of you and just really thankful to be sharing this time with you.
I think another reason we sometimes avoid sex after children is because we feel schlumpy. It’s hard enough to find ten minutes to take a shower, let alone do our hair and make-up. We wonder where our childbearing hips come from and will they ever go away. We are reduced to wearing sweatpants until the baby weight comes off, and nobody looks good in those!
I think we need to remember our husbands just want a warm, willing, loving woman, not a supermodel. They love us, childbearing hips and all.
So true, Kate. A warm, willing, loving woman. That’s all the guys really want. Which is really quite romantic of them, when you think about it. We’re the ones who are usually so hard on ourselves–not them.
I’d love to answer this, Kieran. But since I’m your SIL, I think you’d get grossed out no matter what I’d say. But I will admit to never “on a plane”. And it’s going to stay that way.
Okay, Sharon, thank goodness you DID stop, LOL!!!! No, honestly, I’m not at all weirded out, which may be unusual of me. I just don’t have those hang-ups that probably the rest of my family does!!! Obviously. Since I write sex scenes, although some people think they’re very perky, sweet sex scenes compared to most.
But that’s kinda who I am. Maybe not sweet, exactly, but annoyingly perky. (grin) I just did a little video on my Facebook page in which I put a box saying I want to be Laura Linney on Masterpiece Theater when I do video. I really do! I tried to lower my voice and act all serious and wise. Instead, I’m like someone who watched too much Barney and Disney channel stuff.
So well written. TMI? No way! Thank you for putting it all down. And there are still sex issues after the nest is empty. But as you say, sex is natures way of keeping us young and flexible! I like bendy! haha Thanks for writing.
Hey, thanks, lisoo!!! And bring on those new sex issues post-kids:
“Honey, we can do it on the living room FLOOR! Or the kitchen table!”
“No way.”
“Way.”
LOL.
So I have to get ready for this wild sex that I see in my future. Gotta get to the gym and stay healthy and make sure my husband does, too. We can’t waste our eventual empty nest!
;>)
My oldest and youngest are fourteen years apart (yes, that means 32 years with at least one kid in the house), and you ladies just can’t even imagine (well, I bet you can–you have good imaginations!) the places we’ve found to do the deed.
I can tell when my hormones recover after having a baby (and nursing) because I start reading the love scenes in romances again.
My dh once walked around the New Jersey Romance Writers booksigning carrying one of our babies and saying, “This is what happens when women read romances!” I sure hope he didn’t spoil anyone’s sales with that pitch!
Amanda, that’s an adorable tale, and you sound like you’ve got an excellent husband if he walks around romance writing conferences with you!! Carrying the baby, no less!!!
I also love that y’all are so creative and committed to keeping a little (or a lot!!) of hanky-panky going on despite *32 years* of having children in the house. You’re an inspiration!!!
Thanks for writing, and you give that sweet man an extra kiss from me tonight. He sounds like he has an excellent sense of humor–which I find extremely sexy in a man. It’s a major reason I was attracted to my husband!!!
:>)
Well, before I take too much credit, I have to admit that we’re only halfway through those 32 years. I’ll have to bookmark this blog so I can reread it every five years or so.
Its so nice to hear about successful women that have the same “mom issues” that I have! Thank you for sharing! Oh and I loved your books!
Thank you so much for a very sweet comment! I’m happy to share my mom issues here with other moms. It’s a great community, and I’m so glad you stopped by to visit!! :>D
Kieran, you always say the things that need to be said! I totally agree that romance novels can help relationships, sometimes because they inspire friskiness and sometimes because, especially if you’re more introverted, they explore things that a gal might not have been able to share with a friend. Some of the novelists I’ve read have felt like a wise older sister giving me a peek into different ways things can be in the sexual/relationship realm
I’m ever-hopeful that the women reading romances will help turn our society away from some of the judgmental/childish ideas it has about sex. I guess it’s a turn-on for some people, but I hate it when people call sexy things dirty!
Amen, Emily!
Emily, I LOVED your comment. Those are some powerful thoughts!
Yes, why DO people call sexy things dirty? How many centuries do we have to go back to find the origin of that travesty? It’s an insult to every human being who’s ever lived! Especially women.
And I really like what you said about romance novels giving women a window into a world of sexual possibilities, which is especially helpful when you may be too shy to ask anyone. It could also be you don’t have that mother, sister, or friend to ask, even if you wanted to.
Thanks again for stopping by. I’m in awe of all the sensitive, smart women who’ve shown up at PBOK. We’re proud to have you here.
This postis incredibly timely. My husband and I recently had a heart-to-heart about the lack of friskiness in our relationship – more like the Sahara than a dry spell. He initiated the discussion – generally he runs away from “relationship conversations” faster than Usain Bolt, so it was obviously a big deal for him. We had an honest discussion about the issues from both our perspectives, without blaming each other. We are not suddenly jumping each other bunnies, but we both understand that we need to invest more time/energy in our physical relationship.
Totally agree that moms tend not to talk about sex (or lack of it) – thanks for bringing the topic out into the light of day.
I’m so glad you and your husband had this talk! Honesty is the only way to go when it comes to sex issues, however painful it is to express that the sexy side of the partnership may not be going well–or as well as you’d wish.
You know, I’m a firm believer that if we face truths, we find the courage to do what we have to do. It’s only when we hide that things get worse.
So congratulations for having that kind of trust between you and your husband, and I wish you all the best in finding more intimacy in your relationship. It will be a FUN process!! That’s the best part of it, LOL!!!!
:>)
Hi, I’m a writer based out of The Camp, Great Britain and I located your site via http://peanutbutteronthekeyboard.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/making-time-for-sex-when-youve-got-kids/. Do you have any suggestions for up-and-coming writers? I’m working
on launching my own blog soon but I don’t really know where to start. Could you recommend starting with a free platform like Nucleus or go for a paid option? I’m facing
a lot of options and it’s all so intimidating… Any tips?