It’s a great pleasure for us to have guest mom and fellow writer Christina Hergenrader at Peanut Butter on the Keyboard today! Welcome, Christina–we’re so glad to have you here!
The Marathon
Thank you, ladies, for inviting me to guest blog.
I’m a mom of four kids, ages 7, 4, 4, and 1. My most recent book was God Loves Moms, a Bible Study about twelve moms in the Bible. I also blog at www.bestoftimesblog.com
I love this blog and all of your witty and realistic takes on mothering and writing.
As the mother of so many little kids, I’m a walking magnet for advice. Truthfully, this could also be because I don’t really have my act together.
If I go to Target with all four kids some older woman will stop me to say, “Wow. You have your hands full.”
Yes, I often (literally) do have my hands full with kids or Kleenex or something, so I smile and nod.
Then I try to leave. Because I know what she’ll say next: “Enjoy every second of these years. They go SO FAST.”
Which I’m sure they do. I mean, they don’t seem to be going all that fast this week as all four kids are battling a stomach virus.
Actually, last week didn’t go all that fast either.
BUT I can appreciate what this stranger is warning me about…look past the minor inconveniences (is a stomach virus for four kids with
questionable toilet skills really minor, though?) and soak up the fun.
Here’s what I wish other Target customers would say to me instead: “Sister, it’s a marathon.”
If you’ve ever cheered on marathon runners, you’ve seen that they pace themselves. They reserve passion and energy for the trials and excitement to come…including the finish line.
Recently a friend of mine had her first baby. She had waited a long time for this baby, and his birth was a VERY BIG DEAL. (It takes one to know one—I was the same way.)
As she obsessed over breast vs. bottle and co-sleeping and Ferberizing, I shared that advice: It’s a marathon.
You have to save some passion for the potty training, and school choosing, and virus fighting to come.
Coincidentally, I recently told a writer friend the same thing: “Sister, it’s a marathon.”
After years of trying, she had just landed her first book deal. She became obsessed with the contract and writing and edits like I had about my first baby—and my first book. At lunch she complained about how hard the publishing process was and how she JUST WANTED TO BE DONE!
I felt like those well-meaning ladies at Target as I told her, “Cherish this time. There’s, really, nothing like the thrill of writing your first book.”
And I meant it. I may have become wiser with subsequent books, but I’m also more cynical. I know about the book signings when no one comes. I’ve had my heart broken when even my closest friends forget I have a book coming out.
But there’s nothing like the anticipation of having an actual editor, of holding your first book, of signing your first copy.
And, really, there’s nothing like the career of writing. Or the joy of being a mom.
As long as you remember that they’re both marathons.

Hi Elise
I’d have to agree from the other end of the spectrum, with my eldest 28 and my youngest (number seven) aged 11. A marathon is a perfect description. The most memorable thing anyone ever said to me as I trailed around a department store with five kids under six was “Haven’t you figured out what causes it yet?”
Ummm Maybe not. .
Fi
Fiona, I can’t believe someone said that to you! You were very polite. I would have told them off.
Thanks for stopping by, Christina! Oh my gosh, your kids are adorable!!!
And I LOVE your description of parenting! It seems so obvious–but it’s not. You don’t often hear mothering advice that means, “Pace yourself.” I think the closest I’ve come to hearing that is when people tell me, “Choose your battles.”
But those two bits of advice are still different. The second doesn’t put the decision-making process in the context of time. And time, as we moms know, does play a huge role in the development or cessation of many of our kids’ issues (and our own, LOL!!).
Sometimes waiting it out is the answer, whatever it is. Sometimes hunkering down for a while and saving our energy so we can then come out for quick jabs and shooting off of the heavy artillery is the best way to go when it comes to family issues.
Thanks again for being here, and GOOD LUCK with that loveable bunch you got there!!!!
:>)
Tina, you are so right on all accounts. And I hate it when people tell me to cherish these times. I think I am smart enough to realize what to cherish and what to wish would pass and them telling me isn’t going to make me do it, just annoy me. I like your advice so much better. It’s like supplementing breast-feeding with formula. I see so many new moms agonize when they have to do this, Really, in the long run, you won’t even care. When your kid is two, you’ll be wondering why you worried about that so much.
And just so everyone knows, Tina’s kids are absolutely lovely. I am sure she gets tons of compliments on how well-behaved they are because they have excellent manners and are all very kind and considerate.
So true!
I have one going to Kindergarten in Aug and and 18mo and I’M tired! All of you ladies have my respect. It is nice to know it’s okay to save your energy.
Pause – deep breath….
Thanks! and God bless
Natalia Gortova
Great thoughts! When we had our hands full with 3 babies, our pastor told us to cherish the time and it’d go so fast. My husband, quickly said, ‘Great! Since it goes so fast would you mind watching them for a day? We’re exhausted.’
( ;
Yet, I get it. And I’d never thought how that pertained to writing too. Thanks!
Great advice. I will try to remember that the next time I am tempted to say “Cherish these moments!” Hope the lady I am talking to doesnt smack me when I say “Sister, its a marathon!” And then say, “Have you no appreciation for these special moments I am living right now!? Have you no freaking sense of how important every stinkin moment is!?” LOLOL
I am kidding and I loved reading your post!
Oh and I should add my moms advice. Five kids in 8 years. This is the absolute truth. If we werent in school, we were taking a nap in the afternoon. Whether we were 6 or 16. No kidding. Our bed time was 8 until 13 years old. Then 830 until 15. Then 9. I got married when I was 2 days past my 18th birthday, so I dont know if it got later after that! LOLOL I am not kidding. I thoroughly believe these things must have been how she stayed relatively sane. She claims it is why we were all so healthy! haha
Thanks, Ladies. I really appreciate your encouraging words. I know you all get the marathon analogy because you’ve been in the writing/mothering trenches. And I SO love to hear about your finish lines.
Hi Christina! This is such a great analogy for both parenting and writing. I think it’s just a matter of getting my head around the concept for both. =) But I’ve heard of “runner’s high” before; does that mean you get to a certain stage in both that they just come a lot easier?